Could You Develop Your Own Guide to Better Living?

The Making of a Genius?

In 1726, at the young age of 20, Benjamin Franklin came up with a list of thirteen virtues that he wanted to live his life by. He then carried around a small booklet to track his daily and weekly progress against these virtues.

Franklin included an example of this tracking system as well as a description of these virtues in ‘The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin’:

T = Temperance: Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
S = Silence: Speak not but what benefits others or yourself. Avoid trifling conversation.
O = Order: Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have it’s time.
R = Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
F = Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
I = Industry: Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
S = Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and if you speak, speak accordingly.
J = Justice: Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
M = Moderation: Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
C = Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes or habitation.
T = Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
C = Chastity: Never use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation
H = Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

That’s a pretty intense list to try and follow, and Franklin never seemed to achieve them all on any day if you look at his chart. But, on the other hand, maybe he still improved more from striving towards living by these virtues than if he hadn’t? It’s hard to know.

We know that Benjamin Franklin managed to do a lot in his lifetime, and he excelled at nearly everything that he put his mind to. Most people still know who Franklin is nearly 300 years later, and his face remains on the US $100 bill, so he must have done a few things right.

12 Rules for Life?

By now, many of you have probably heard of Jordan B Peterson and his viral self-help book ’12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos’.

Here are his 12 rules, which make up the chapters of the book:

  1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back
  2. Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
  3. Make friends with people who want the best for you
  4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today
  5. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them
  6. Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world
  7. Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)
  8. Tell the truth — or, at least, don’t lie
  9. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t
  10. Be precise in your speech
  11. Do not bother children when they are skateboarding
  12. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street

I notice some overlap between Peterson’s rules and Franklin’s virtues. # 8 and # 10 from Peterson is very similar to Sincerity and Silence from Franklin. # 2 and # 7 from Peterson is similar to Industry and Resolution from Franklin. # 6 is similar to Order and Tranquility from Franklin. Franklin’s list is more personal and focused on self-discipline and resisting excess, whereas Peterson mentions children and animals.

Looking at the two lists, I’d take Franklin’s virtues over Peterson’s rules any day if I had to choose between the two as my guiding principles for life.

People seem to love Peterson at the moment not because his rules are what we should all live by, but because he is well-read, intelligent, articulate and confident. He is very sure of himself and not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, which makes him a strong thought leader in a time of confusion and minimal external input into what a positive and meaningful life actually consists of.

But what if we could actually learn how to come up with our own principles and virtues for better living rather than trying to adopt Franklin’s or Peterson’s rules to our own lives?

How Do We Develop Our Own Guiding Principles in Life?

It is possible to develop your own guide to a better life in only three steps…

STEP ONE: Who am I?

To know what we want, we first need to figure out who we are (or, more accurately, what we see ourselves to be).

STEP TWO: What do I care about?

Once we know who we are, we must figure out what is important or meaningful to us (and what isn’t).

STEP THREE: How do I show that I care about these things?

We then need to figure out what actions we need to take and what systems or habits we can develop to help us live consistently by these values.


Our identity, or who we see ourselves to be, often consists of many factual things. It may include our name, our family, our nationality, our ethnicity or racial background, our culture, our class, our friends, our relationship status, our sexuality, our gender, our religious beliefs, where we live, where we work, what we do for work, what our interests and hobbies are, and what we like to do for fun or to relax. Most people can answer these questions fairly easily.

Different factors can shape the overall identity of one person much more than they do for others. For example, a cisgender straight white male may not consider that his gender, race, sexuality or culture play a big role in his identity. However, these factors could be huge for someone who is non-gender conforming or sexually fluid or from a minority cultural or religious group in the country they live in and have suffered stigma or discrimination.

1a. Take a personality test to help answer the question “Who am I?”

No matter what is important to you, everyone needs to construct a cohesive narrative or story about who they are. If you are getting stuck in describing your personality, there are many tests out there that can help you. Peterson and I agree that the five-factor personality model is probably the best personality test for the average person trying to understand themselves better. You can complete it for free at this website.

An individual’s scores on Extroversion, Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, Neuroticism and Openness to Experience are fairly consistent across their lives, so knowing where you sit on the spectrum of each of these facets is a helpful way to get to know yourself better. It can also help you work with who you are rather than against yourself when designing your own principles for better living.

Looking at my last IPIP-NEO results, here are my percentile scores on each of the five factors, ranked from highest to lowest:

  • Openness to Experience: 95th percentile
  • Agreeableness: 90th percentile
  • Extroversion: 74th percentile
  • Conscientiousness: 74th percentile
  • Neuroticism: 13th percentile

Here are all facets that I am in the top 11% in comparison to other males of my age from Australia:

  • Cooperation…… 99th percentile
  • Liberalism………… 97th percentile
  • Adventurousness…… 95th percentile
  • Emotionality……… 90th percentile
  • Altruism………… 90th percentile
  • Trust……………… 90th percentile
  • Activity Level………… 90th percentile
  • Intellect…………… 89th percentile


DESCRIPTIVE INFORMATION: I’m Damon Ashworth. I’m the middle child in my family, with an older brother and a younger sister. My parents are still happily married, and we all get along fairly well. I am a dual citizen of Australia and the United States of America but have spent most of my life in Melbourne, Australia. I am of Caucasian descent. My parents were both teachers, so that makes me from the middle class, I guess. My friends are predominantly from Melbourne, but I’ve made some friends when I lived in the US for two years and some good friends since moving to Vanuatu. I am currently volunteering in Vanuatu for two years as a Clinical Psychologist with the Ministry of Health and at the Vila Central Hospital. I identify as a straight male, and I am currently in a happy monogamous relationship with my girlfriend. I have been baptized as a Christian but do not attend any religious services. I love reading non-fiction books, listening to podcasts, playing basketball, volleyball and tennis, and being creative in writing and making music and movies. I love hip hop and some mainstream music, horror and comedy movies, and stand up comedy. I also love to be active, get outside and visit new places on holidays, and travel and snow ski when I can afford it.

PERSONALITY PROFILE: I am extremely high in openness to various experiences, including cultural, intellectual, emotional, and physical. I am very high in agreeableness and tend to do whatever it takes to have positive relationships with other people. I will always try to co-operate with others if I can. I like to challenge convention and try to help bring about progressive change. I prefer a lot of variety in my life and like to go on adventures. I am highly attuned to my emotions and the emotions of others around me and try to remain open to whatever I am feeling. I enjoy helping others when they need it. I trust others easily and strongly believe that most people are generally good and not out to harm others. I have lived a pretty fast-paced life and care about being both efficient and effective. I love to have in-depth discussions with others and enjoy playing with ideas and reflecting on important aspects of life through meditative practices and my writing.


Finding out what you care about is through the process of clarifying your values. Values are guiding principles in life that we cannot achieve like a goal but choose to live by each day. For example, someone who values honesty does not live consistently with what matters to them the moment they tell a lie but is consistent as soon as they go back to telling the truth. By clarifying which values are most important to us, we can know when we have gone off track and what to do to get back on.

2a. Engage in thought experiments to elucidate what is most important to you

An interesting experiential method to help patients identify their top values if they aren’t sure what they are is to write their obituary. For this, they would write what they hope would be said about them if they were to die after a long and good life. Whenever I think of writing my epitaph, all I come up with is, “Here lies Damon. He tried his best.” This tells me that one of my core values is applying myself to be the best that I can be.

If writing your obituary seems too dark or morbid, try to imagine your birthday party at least 20 years later (I choose my 70th birthday). All of your closest friends and family are there. Then, the most important person in your life gets up and makes a speech about the type of person you have been from today until then (over the past 20+ years). What do you want to hear them say? It can be a powerful exercise that often brings tears to people’s eyes and helps them realize the type of person they most want to be going forward, both to themselves and others.

2b. Take a strengths survey to identify your key strengths or top virtues

If none of the above activities interests you or help to highlight your core values, the Values In Action (VIA) Character Strengths Survey can. It ranks your strengths from 24th to 1st and is quite useful in elucidating what you may want your guiding principles in life to be. You can find it on this website.

My Top Strengths

Based on my 2018 findings, my top nine strengths are as follows:

  • 9: Honesty, Authenticity and Genuineness
  • 8: Forgiveness and Mercy
  • 7: Fairness, Equity and Justice
  • 6: Creativity, Ingenuity and Originality
  • 5: Judgment, Critical Thinking and Open-Mindedness
  • 4: Humour and Playfulness
  • 3: Kindness and Generosity
  • 2: Curiosity and Interest in the World
  • 1: Love of Learning

My Top Virtues

Based on my 2018 findings, my top virtues are as follows:

  • Wisdom — Average score = 6.2
  • Humanity — Average score = 8.33
  • Justice — Average score = 13.33
  • Transcendence — Average score = 13.4


I care about being an honest person. I care about living my life authentically and genuinely and being a “real” person with everyone I interact with. I care about forgiveness and being compassionate to those who have wronged me. I care about being fair to others and not letting my feelings bias my decisions or actions. I try to give everyone at least one chance, and sometimes more, unless it is obvious that the other person does not want things to be equal or fair. I care about challenging convention and thinking of new and more efficient or effective ways to do things. I care about not jumping to conclusions and looking at the evidence and things from multiple perspectives before deciding the best thing to do. I care about being able to say that I am sorry and that I was wrong or being open to changing my mind if evidence to the contrary is presented. I care about not always being serious, being playful, having fun, laughing, or smiling with others. I care about being generous and kind with others and giving them my time and help, and undivided attention if possible. I care about learning new things and developing my knowledge and skills in a variety of subjects and topics. Finally, I care about maintaining my curiosity and awe, growing as a person and gaining wisdom, and using what I have learned to help out humanity where possible. This may be done individually or on a larger scale.


Finally, we need to assess how we have been living consistently with our core values or key strengths. In other words, how much are you currently being the person you want to be, and what changes can you make to move more in the right direction from now on?

3a. Do the Bullseye Exercise to assess where you are currently at

The Bullseye exercise, first created by Swedish ACT Therapist Tobias Lundgren, is the best way to determine if you are living consistently with your values in four key areas of your life: 1. school or work, 2. leisure or recreation, 3. personal growth or health, and 4. relationships (including with friends and family).

Keep your core values or key strengths in mind and say whether you have been fully consistent with these values in this area of your life (a bullseye) or if you have lost touch with your values (all the way at the outer circle), or anywhere in between. You can download a full worksheet here, or you can imagine placing an X somewhere in each quadrant in the picture below:

3b. Set up some sustainable systems and/or goals that would make you live more consistent with your core values and strengths in each key area of your life.

Once you have identified where you stand on each quadrant of the bullseye, ask yourself what you can do over the next 1–2 weeks (short-term), next 1–3 months (medium-term) or next 6–18 months (long-term) that would help you to feel like you are living more consistently with your core values or key strengths. For example, this could be designing new working, eating or sleeping goals and targets.

If you do set goals, make sure that they are SMART:


Work is going really well for me, although it would help setting weekly goals for myself and assess my progress against these goals to determine my efficiency and productivity. I will do this each Monday at 8 am. For leisure, we have been visiting beaches more frequently recently, and I want to get to the beach at least once each weekend if possible with other people so that we can enjoy our time together. I want to see new beaches at least once a month if possible to explore different parts of Vanuatu. For relationships, I want to schedule time in my calendar each month dedicated to keeping in touch with all my family and friends back in Australia. Lastly, I have not been as active as I would like to be for personal growth and health, and my lower back has been sore as a result. I want to get back into swimming at least once a week and stretch every time I go to the gym or play basketball.

As you achieve your goals or put your systems into place, you are showing yourself and others that you know who you are and what is important to you. You will begin to feel that you are heading in the right direction towards a more personally meaningful and satisfying life. You will have created your own guide to better living!

Dr Damon Ashworth

Clinical Psychologist

Published by Dr Damon Ashworth

I am a Clinical Psychologist. I completed a Doctoral degree in Clinical Psychology at Monash University and a Bachelor of Behavioural Sciences and a Bachelor of Psychological Sciences with Honours at La Trobe University. I am passionate about the field of Psychology, and apply the latest empirical findings to best help individuals meet their psychological and emotional needs.

13 thoughts on “Could You Develop Your Own Guide to Better Living?

  1. Great post! I can tell you put some time into this. Well done. I enjoyed Peterson’s book very much and now I think I’ll read Benjamin autobiography. I agree with the steps you outlined. In a way I think we do these checks internally (whether we realize it or not) however having intention behind them can provide clarity. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Great lists! I’ll have to look at the processes later. Too much for a before work read.

    I like Franklin’s in part because he seems like such a character. The key to both lists are likely resolve.

    I’m guessing Franklin had more thoughts than he could keep up with! So it seems.

  3. Wow! What a thorough and considered post! I guess I’m also making my own guide to life, but I’m low in conscientiousness so I prefer a less methodical approach 😉

  4. Enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing it. I’ve been thinking of reworking my mission statement and you’ve given me great example of how to do it better. I thank you so much for this. All the best, I wish you Miracles, Selma.

  5. Love this concept. As someone who loves reading self-help in search of creating the ‘ideal life’, I often get overwhelmed by the volume of books and articles telling you how to live, and being confused because all of them seem right. Your article made me realize perhaps I can carve my own path, and can start doing so today. Great article!

  6. Those books are great , the Ben Franklin and the Jordan Peterson book. Truth is that having ‘rules’ for life does , usually , make life easier, and more fun and less stressful. While some of the rules might seem silly to some or ridiculous to others, rules are what gives our world order. And with order comes comfortability, peace, and leisure time. I’m going back to read the rest of your entry here. Peace artfromperry

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