Damon Ashworth Psychology

Category: Countdowns

  • 33 Thoughts About Turning 33

    33 Thoughts About Turning 33

    This will be an unfiltered post. No thinking things through. No edits. Just reflections on life, age, and anything else that pops into my head. Here goes nothing:

    1. Turning 33 feels weird.
    2. I feel old at times, especially in my body.
    3. I still feel like a child at other times, and I wonder whether I will ever feel like a proper adult.
    4. I can’t believe I have so much grey hair now.
    5. It’s strange to wonder where the time has gone.
    6. Yet when I think about it, I really have done a lot and had many amazing experiences in my time on this planet.
    7. I’m happier now than I have ever been before.
    8. We never really know how our life will turn out.
    9. I couldn’t have planned for what has occurred in my life, yet, amazingly, things have turned out the way they have.
    10. I’m excited about the future.
    11. I used to get scared about the idea of getting older, but I don’t anymore.
    12. I’ve stopped searching for the right answers these days and instead focus on asking and living the right questions.
    13. I don’t regret much from my past, even though some of it really sucked at the time.
    14. I still don’t fully understand people, even after I have studied psychology for 8 years, seen patients since 2010 and read over 200 psychology books.
    15. I will never fully understand myself or someone else, which is okay as long as I keep trying to learn and grow.
    16. 33 is a palindrome.
    17. When I was younger, I would have seen 33 years old as “really old” and “over the hill.”
    18. I thought that I would have been a parent by now.
    19. I am glad that I haven’t just tried to follow the crowd and live a traditional life.
    20. I used to think it was better to receive gifts from others, and now I can see how it is better to give.
    21. I worried and stressed way more than I needed to as a child.
    22. I focused on my body image and appearance way too much as a teenager.
    23. I’ve never really looked after myself that well regarding what I put into my body. This will eventually catch up to me if it hasn’t already.
    24. I’ve let go of being perfect, which feels great.
    25. Not everything happens for a reason, but we can learn something from everything that we go through.
    26. Everyone suffers in life to some degree.
    27. Everyone has baggage.
    28. Life isn’t about getting the best job, house, partner, but the best one for you and your lifestyle and values.
    29. No one truly knows what the future holds, and that is both exciting and scary.
    30. It’s much better to only focus on trying to change what is in my control.
    31. Having unconditional positive regard and compassion for others is tough to do but really rewarding if you can.
    32. Living an honest and ethical life is so much less tiring in the long run than being dishonest, self-centred and egotistical.
    33. There are many kind people out there, and being kind to others is the best way to see it.

    Thanks for reading these last three years, and happy holidays to you all!

    Dr Damon Ashworth

    Clinical Psychologist

  • The Top 20 Movies of My Lifetime (10-1)

    The Top 20 Movies of My Lifetime (10-1)

    Looking at the American Film Institute’s 100 Greatest American Films of All Time list that came out in 1998, most films are super old. For example, ‘Citizen Kane’ (1941) ranked at #1, ‘Casablanca’ (1942) ranked at #2, ‘The Godfather’ (1972) ranked at #3, ‘Gone With the Wind’ (1939) ranked at #4 and ‘Lawrence of Arabia’ (1962) ranked at #5.

    I loved ‘The Godfather’ but fell asleep in ‘Casablanca’ and ‘Lawrence of Arabia’. However, I agree with ‘Gone With the Wind’ being up there, especially seeing that it is the highest-grossing movie of all time, adjusted for inflation. I also need to see ‘Citizen Kane’ before making any judgments on it, but I tend to like modern movies more than most movie critics.

    Out of the entire top 100, only 8 came out after 1985, the year that I was born:

    • Schindler’s List (1993) — #9
    • The Silence of the Lambs (1991) — #65
    • Forrest Gump (1994) — #71
    • Dances with Wolves (1990) — #75
    • Platoon (1986) — #83
    • Fargo (1996) — #84
    • Goodfellas (1990) — #94
    • Pulp Fiction (1994) — #95

    None of these movies made my top 20 countdown either, so clearly, the movie critics and I don’t always see eye to eye.

    In 2008, the AFI came out with their 10th-anniversary list, and ‘Raging Bull’ (1980) and ‘Singing in the Rain (1952) had replaced ‘Gone With the Wind’ and ‘Lawrence of Arabia’ in the top 5. The top 100 choices were still predominantly old movies, with only 14 movies released after 1985:

    • Schindler’s List — #8
    • The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) — #50
    • Unforgiven (1992) — #68
    • Saving Private Ryan (1998) — #71
    • The Shawshank Redemption (1994) — #72
    • The Silence of the Lambs — #74
    • Forrest Gump — #76
    • Titanic (1997) — #83
    • Platoon — #86
    • The Sixth Sense (1999) — #89
    • Goodfellas — #92
    • Pulp Fiction — #94
    • Do the Right Thing (1989) — #96
    • Toy Story (1995) — #99

    There were two movies from my top 20 countdown in the list, which makes me feel a little better. Interestingly, ‘Fargo’ and ‘Dances With Wolves’ became less admired over time and dropped out of the list. On the other hand, ‘Unforgiven’, ‘The Shawshank Redemption, ‘Titanic’, ‘Do the Right Thing’ and ‘Toy Story’ became more admired since 1998 and made the 10th-anniversary list after missing the first countdown. I hope they come out with another list in 2018 to mark the 20th anniversary and look forward to seeing what they include.

    After seeing a movie these days, I get interested in knowing what movie critics thought of the movie. Rotten tomatoes is a great website that accumulates all of the professional movie critics reviews on a particular movie and gives an aggregate score out of 100% based on how many reviews are positive for the film. Here are the Tomatometer ratings for numbers 20 through to 11 in my top 20 movies of my lifetime countdown:

    #20 — The Conjuring (2013) — 86%

    #19 — The Castle (1999) — 88%

    #18 — Midnight in Paris (2011) — 93%

    #17 — Groundhog Day (1993) — 96%

    #16 — Donnie Darko (2001) — 86%

    #15 — Before Sunrise (1995) — 100%

    #14 — The Truman Show (1998) — 94%

    #13 — The Sixth Sense (1999) — 85%

    #12 — Inglourious Basterds (2009) — 89%

    #11 — Good Will Hunting (1997) — 97%

    To qualify for this countdown, I need to have seen the movie, enjoyed it, and found that it had an emotional impact on me somehow. Here is my top 10, with their IMDb star rating and their rotten tomatoes Tomatometer score:

    # 10 — Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) — IMDb star rating: 8.3/10, rotten tomatoes Tomatometer = 93%

    The tagline for the movie says it all: “You can erase someone from your mind. But, getting them out of your heart is another story.” A strange but touching movie about a couple who keep going to a memory clinic to try and erase the memories of someone they love in the hope that they can move forward with their lives. However, without even knowing why, something keeps bringing them back together. Seeing that Jim Carrey now has 2 movies in my top 20, it seems that he should have played serious roles more often.

    # 9 — Requiem for a Dream (2000) — IMDb star rating: 8.4/10, rotten tomatoes Tomatometer = 78%

    I feel like this should be shown to anyone who thinks that drugs are cool, especially teenagers. I haven’t spoken to anyone who has watched this movie and hasn’t had a strong visceral reaction to it, either positive or negative. It may be why it has the lowest Tomatometer score out of any movie on my countdown. The director Darren Aronofsky achieved more critical acclaim for his 2010 movie ‘Black Swan’, which was also quite unsettling to watch, but this one had more of an impact on me.

    # 8 — The Lion King (1994) — IMDb star rating: 8.5/10, rotten tomatoes Tomatometer = 92%

    Drawing inspiration from William Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet’, I was obsessed with ‘The Lion King’ when I was younger, and it first came out. The story and the music were amazing, and I bought the soundtrack on CD and the movie on VHS as soon as they were released. It’s heartbreaking, uplifting and hilarious, and my favourite Disney cartoon of all time.

    # 7 — Back to the Future (1985) — IMDb star rating: 8.5/10, rotten tomatoes Tomatometer = 96%

    A movie that nearly wasn’t made. When the writer and director first sent the script of ‘Back to the Future’ around to the Hollywood studios, nobody wanted to touch it. The studios knocked it back about 50 times, and it wasn’t until the director had success with another movie that it was greenlit for production. A movie about a hero who befriends a weird old scientist who takes him back into the past where he has to evade his biological mother, who is crushing on him, seems like a weird premise for a movie. However, it became a massive box office hit with two sequels and a huge fan base even to this day. Time travel, when done well, is another truly magical aspect of going to the movies. Being able to learn about where you have come from and what your parents were like when younger is another really fascinating thing that we will never be able to see unless they captured it on video.

    # 6 — The Usual Suspects (1995) — IMDb star rating: 8.6/10, rotten tomatoes Tomatometer = 88%

    “The smartest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist”. A very clever movie by Bryan Singer and the best in his career, in my opinion, although some of his X-Men movies were good too. But, like ‘The Sixth Sense’, it also has a twist at the end that completely changes the viewing experience of the movie. Who is Keyser Söze? It would be best to watch to find out and then see it a second time to see what signs you missed.

    # 5 — The Matrix (1999) — IMDb star rating: 8.7/10, rotten tomatoes Tomatometer = 87%

    I remember the marketing campaign in Australia when it first came out — “What is the Matrix?” It gave nothing away about the movie and yet made me feel like I had to watch it or I would miss out. Once I saw it, it blew my mind. Probably the most original action movie that I have ever seen. It has been copied and emulated many times since, so it probably doesn’t seem groundbreaking these days, but the bullet-dodging and slow-motion sequences were amazing. I wish they didn’t bring out the sequels, as they took away some magic from the first movie. If you had a choice, would you take the red pill and be exposed to the truth, or would you take the blue pill and live in ignorant bliss?

    # 4 — Inception (2010) — IMDb rating: 8.7/10, rotten tomatoes Tomatometer = 86%

    Another very creative and inventive premise with great visual effects. I think Christopher Nolan is a great director, and he likes to get his audiences to think. The difference between reality and dreams is something that has come up a few times on this list. Still, Inception takes it to a whole new level, saying that we can implant an idea into the subconscious mind of someone else during their sleep to impact their behaviour when they are awake. The way that time is altered at the different levels of dreams is great. Also, the spinning top at the movie’s end leaves the interpretation of what happened wide open.

    # 3 — Fight Club (1999) — IMDb star rating: 8.8/10, rotten tomatoes Tomatometer = 79%

    David Fincher is another of my favourite directors. He has an especially great knack for turning good books into excellent films, including this, ‘Gone Girl’ and ‘Girl With a Dragon Tattoo’. The antisocial, antimaterialistic and anarchistic nature of this film really appealed to me at the time. It made me question what I thought I knew about what was important in this world. It didn’t make me want to start a fight club or punch anyone, but to live a life that was more autonomous and genuine. The surprise ending is almost as good as ‘The Sixth Sense’ and ‘The Usual Suspects’ too.

    # 2 — The Dark Knight (2008) — IMDb star rating: 9.0/10, rotten tomatoes Tomatometer = 94%

    This movie is epic in scale and is really all about Heath Ledger as the Joker. I was concerned that he wouldn’t size up to Jack Nicholson’s version, but he surpassed it in every way possible and stole the scene whenever he was on the screen. It is one of the greatest performances of all time, in my opinion, and he truly deserved the Oscar for the role, especially considering the toll that it seemed to take on his emotional and psychological well-being. It was annoying that the character of Rachel changed from Katie Holmes in ‘Batman Begins’ to Maggie Gyllenhaal. Apart from that, this is the greatest Batman movie of all time, and the car chase scene through the tunnel is also the best chase scene of all time.

    # 1 — The Shawshank Redemption (1994) — IMDb star rating: 9.2/10, rotten tomatoes Tomatometer = 91%

    The highest-rated movie of all time on IMDb and, therefore, well-deserving of the #1 movie on my list. Interestingly, this wasn’t a big hit when it first came out but continued to build an audience over time once released for home movie consumption. Morgan Freeman is always great in movies, especially when he plays the narrator, but this one is his best. The ending is exceptionally uplifting, too and would give hope to even the most cynical viewer out there.

    Thanks for checking out my list. Do let me know if you agree or disagree with any of these titles in the comments section below or if you think another title should have made the countdown!

    Dr Damon Ashworth

    Clinical Psychologist

  • The Top 20 Movies of My Lifetime (20-11)

    The Top 20 Movies of My Lifetime (20-11)

    A list like this will always be subjective, and I don’t expect others to agree with it. However, I still think it is worth highlighting the movies that have significantly impacted my life and why this is the case. If you believe something amazing is missing from the list, please let me know in the comments section below.

    I was born in 1985, so the movies on the list have been released in 1985 or later. All films on the list also have to be movies:

    • that I have personally watched,
    • that I have personally enjoyed, and
    • that have emotionally impacted me in some way.

    WHY MOVIES ARE IMPORTANT

    Unfortunately, the longer I practise psychotherapy, the more I can see its limitations. Over time, it has become easier for me to look at the traps that people consistently fall into and the logical steps people need to overcome these difficulties.

    However, people are not just logical creatures. They have emotional reactions to things based on their past experiences and beliefs. Therefore, for long-term change to occur, we need to connect and bring about change emotionally.

    This is where stories become relevant. Whether through a good fiction book or a great movie, stories can connect with us emotionally and move us more than a rational argument ever could. Without further ado, here is my list, ranked based on their IMDb star rating:

    # 20: The Conjuring (2013) — IMDb star rating: 7.5/10

    Quite simply, I have never been more scared watching a horror movie in the cinema than this one. I locked my arms between the armrests so that I didn’t jump too much, and the amount of sweat I produced by the end of the movie was intense. The sequel is almost as good, but the scene where the mother wakes up and thinks that her kids are playing a clap-clap version of hide and seek is genuinely terrifying. James Wan is a master of his craft, and his supernatural stuff is much better than the Saw series.

    I was tempted to include ‘Wake in Fright’, the Australian outback horror, instead of this as it has a higher IMDb rating and was an uncomfortable watch. However, the success of a scary movie needs to be about how scary it is, and therefore ‘The Conjuring’ is the perfect way to kickstart the list.

    # 19: The Castle (1997) — IMDb star rating: 7.7/10

    My only Australian movie on the list. I was thinking about my most quoted movie of all time, and this is a close battle with ‘Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy’ and ‘Happy Gilmore’, however ‘The Castle’ has a higher star rating and gets the nod for being an Aussie film. From “tell ’em to get stuffed” to “the vibe” to “the serenity” to “he’s an ideas man” to “we could talk for hours” and “I dug another hole”, The Castle is a truly classic Australian film. For anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, please do yourself a favour and check it out. Truly knee-slapping fun.

    # 18: Midnight in Paris (2011) — IMDb star rating: 7.7/10

    It is the best Woody Allen film by far, in my opinion. Many people might say ‘Manhattan’ or ‘Annie Hall’ or even ‘Hannah and Her Sisters’ may be better, but I tend to prefer the movies that Woody actually doesn’t appear in himself. When Owen Wilson’s character gets to go back in time and meet F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway and Salvador Dali and Pablo Picasso, this is movie magic at its finest. Plus, Marion Cotillard as Adriana is magical too. I’d escape Rachel McAdams as Inez for her any day.

    # 17: Groundhog Day (1993) — IMDb star rating: 8.0/10

    Just brilliant, in my opinion, and the best Bill Murray film by far. What would you do if you were stuck living the same day over and over again in a town that you didn’t want to be in? The main character, Phil, first tries to take advantage of others. He then commits crimes, tries to kill himself, learns skills, helps others and finally finds true love. Another great example of movies teaching us something using a method that couldn’t possibly happen in real life.

    # 16: Donnie Darko (2001) — IMDb star rating: 8.1/10

    This is an example of the right movie at the right time. I was experiencing a lot of suicidal ideation when this movie came out in 2001, and the main song from the movie ‘Mad World’ by Gary Jules connected with me in a way that not much else did. It seems to be the closest depiction I’ve seen of ‘The Catcher in the Rye’, my favourite novel at the time by the author J.D. Salinger. It was a dark time for me, and Donnie Darko really helped me to feel that I wasn’t alone in my struggle. It looked to be the start of a promising career by director Richard Kelly, but he doesn’t seem to have done much since 2009’s ‘The Box’.

    # 15: Before Sunrise (1995) — IMDb star rating: 8.1/10

    I enjoyed all three films in this trilogy, but the first one was my favourite by far. Two strangers, randomly meeting each other on a train in a foreign land, spending the night together wandering around the streets of Vienna and developing a powerful connection in the process. I also really liked ‘Boyhood’ and ‘Dazed and Confused’ from Linklater, but ‘Before Sunrise’ takes the cake for why I love travelling and meeting new people and saying yes to spontaneous experiences.

    # 14: The Truman Show (1998) — IMDb star rating: 8.1/10

    This and ‘EdTV’ were really at the forefront of the reality TV movement that has taken over commercial TV these days. ‘The Truman Show’ is a much better movie, however. Who hasn’t imagined themselves as the main character in a story? I know I have. What if everything was just a set-up to create conflict and tension for the millions of viewers out there? Would you like this, knowing that you are likely to be safe and cared about for the rest of your life? Or would you rather break free and experience an authentic and genuine life experience and give yourself a chance of finding real love and happiness? We all have a choice between what is expected of us and what we would really like to do.

    # 13: The Sixth Sense (1999) — IMDb star rating: 8.1/10

    Unfortunately, one of my friends spoiled the twist at the end of this movie before I saw it, so I’ll never get to experience watching it without knowing what was actually happening. However, I still loved it, which is a true credit to how great the movie is. Early on, I would have listed M. Night Shyamalan as one of my favourite directors. How far his and Haley Joel Osment’s career fell after this gives you an indication of how fickle Hollywood can be, but it was nice to see the director return to some form with the recent ‘Split’. Hopefully, his upcoming sequel to ‘Unbreakable’ will be good too. At its essence, ‘The Sixth Sense’ is an exploration of the topic of grief. I wonder what mediums think of this movie and its most famous quote, “I see dead people”?

    # 12: Inglourious Basterds (2009) — IMDb star rating: 8.3/10

    The best Tarantino movie, in my opinion. The tension he can create through dialogue is amazing, especially with the extended scene at the beginning of the film and the even more extended scene in the basement bar. Tarantino is a movie nerd through and through, and many people will say that ‘Pulp Fiction’ is his masterpiece, but this is better than that in many ways for me. Christoph Waltz was amazing, and getting to revise history in a way that leads to Hitler being shot in the face by a machine gun would have no doubt be satisfying to many. However, it also shows that big budgets and lots of action can never make up for poor dialogue when building up suspense. It’s a pity ‘The Hateful Eight’ was so bad. Here’s hoping that Mr Tarantino makes a return to form with his next film.

    # 11: Good Will Hunting (1997) — IMDb star rating: 8.3/10

    My favourite movie on therapy and the benefits that it can bring. It’s great to see Robin Williams in some of his more serious roles, too, including this one, ‘What Dreams May Come’ and ‘Dead Poets Society’. The scene where Robin Williams character Sean says to Matt Damon’s character Will that it’s not his fault for the prior abuses that have taken place in his life is compelling, as it finally leads to a breaking down of the barriers that Will puts up to defend himself. This is all too obvious with many of the clients that I see who have had abusive pasts. Many of them continue to treat themselves as harshly as their perpetrators once treated them. It is heartbreaking to see it time and time again, and I wish that they too could truly grasp and genuinely feel that they were not responsible for the abuses that they have suffered.

    Stay tuned for #10 through to #1…

  • My Top 5 Psychology TED Talks

    My Top 5 Psychology TED Talks

    In order of fewest views to most, I will present my favourite TED talks, along with a brief description of what they are about, why I think they are great and where you can find out more information about these concepts if you are interested. Enjoy!

    5. The Surprising Science of Happiness by Dan Gilbert (13 million views)

    Summary: Human beings are the only animals that can simulate experience and imagine what something will be like before we do it. This capacity to visualise future experiences is a helpful tool to have. It is one of the main reasons humans have been able to make all of the advances that we have since the industrial revolution. However, our experience simulator has its limitations and is often not accurate due to what is known as an impact bias.

    An impact bias is the tendency to overestimate the impact that a future event will have on our emotional life and overall happiness levels. The most striking example, which I’ve previously mentioned in another article, is that 12 months after becoming a paraplegic or 12 months after winning the lottery, an individual’s level of happiness is usually the same as before the event took place. It is the same with weight loss, moving houses, relationship break-ups and infidelity, and getting a promotion at work. Whether it is a positive or negative event, they will consistently have less impact, less intensity and lesser duration than what people will expect them to have.

    When things work out the way we want them to, this is known as Natural Happiness, and most people understand why someone is happy. It makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is Synthetic Happiness, which is the happiness that is created by our “psychological immune system” when we don’t get what we want. Research has shown that even though other people respond to examples of Synthetic Happiness with a “yeah right!” response when they hear about it, it is every bit as enduring as Natural Happiness.

    What I liked about it: Even when things don’t go as planned or we don’t end up getting what we want, most of the time, our “psychological immune system” will step into action and help us feel pleased not despite, but because of what has occurred. While most of us might picture ourselves being miserable if things don’t work out, the truth is that we will generally be okay, so don’t spend too much time fretting over all of the bad things that may occur in the future. Humans are amazingly resilient, even in the face of the worst possible outcomes.

    On the positive side, we should also try not to sacrifice too much good stuff (fun, leisure, play, excitement, adventure) in the here and now for that eventual pay-off that is likely to be less rewarding and less enduring than you imagine. It is much better to create the type of life that we want now than always putting it off until a later date (after I finish studying; after I get married; after I retire; after I lose weight etc.).

    If you’d like to learn more: Read the book ‘Stumbling on Happiness’ by Dan Gilbert.

    4. The Power of Introverts by Susan Cain (14 million views)

    Summary: Our society, especially in the West, tends to value being social and outgoing, or being an extrovert, above all else. An extrovert is someone who craves large amounts of stimulation, both environmentally and socially, to feel lively and capable. On the other hand, introverts tend to feel most comfortable, switched on, energised, and creative when they are in low-key or isolated environments.

    The key to maximising everyone’s talents is finding the best level of stimulation for each individual. However, we design our schools and workplaces and social settings to allow the extrovert to thrive. These designs only further disadvantage the introvert and diminish their performance, confidence and level of well-being. Introverts often feel different from mainstream society or ashamed of who they are, but between a third and a half of all individuals are introverted. It’s just that they are often quieter and tend to get lost in the crowd.

    What if, instead of forcing introverts to thrive in an extroverted world, we could instead diversify things to appeal to everyone’s strengths. What if each student and worker could study and perform in the environment that best suited them? Introverts often have talents and abilities in the areas where extroverts are the weakest, so accepting, encouraging, and celebrating the strengths of introverts and extroverts would help society flourish better as a whole.

    What I liked about it: Growing up, I always knew that I became overstimulated and struggled to perform at my best in loud, busy environments. I hated going out to clubs on the weekend and tended to enjoy smaller gatherings to large crowds or festivals. I even found large lectures much more challenging to concentrate on than a small tutorial or studying at home by myself. Some of my favourite pastimes include spending a big chunk of time by myself relaxing, reflecting or reading a book. I love excitement and adventure too, which makes me more of an ambivert, but I need my quiet times to recharge and keep functioning at my best. Accepting myself for who I am and working with my strengths is much better than forcing myself to be like someone else that society values the most.

    If you’d like to learn more: Read the book ‘Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking’ by Susan Cain.

    3. The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown (24 million views)

    Summary: Brené Brown is a social worker who has studied human connection, imperfection, shame, fear and vulnerability. She believes that human connection is why we are here on this planet, and it is what gives us meaning and purpose in life. She says that what prevents us from connecting with others truly is shame and fear and that to connect, empathise, belong and love, we need to be seen, which takes extreme courage and vulnerability. It is possible to be worthy of love, connection and belonging without being perfect. We need to be compassionate towards ourselves and believe that we are worthy. While it may seem appealing to not be afraid before we act, it is actually through leaning into the discomfort, embracing vulnerability, and being willing to take emotional risks that we will find the most rewarding experiences and connections.

    What I liked about it: Not only does Brené Brown talk about vulnerability, but she also leads by example by opening up about her struggles with vulnerability. She shows that life isn’t about waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we act upon something or try something out, as seductive as infallibility may be. If we don’t take risks or be vulnerable, we sacrifice the quality of our relationships, and we miss out on opportunities that we may never be able to get again. But, on the other hand, when we are vulnerable, we don’t waste our precious time or turn our backs on our potential strengths. Instead, we manage to connect with others and contribute in a way that is uniquely ours.

    If you’d like to learn more: Read the book ‘The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are’. Even better is the book ‘Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead’ by Brené Brown.

    2. Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are by Amy Cuddy (33 million views)

    Summary: It has been known for quite a while that our body language impacts how others perceive us and how successful our interactions with others are. Amy Cuddy has researched our nonverbal behaviour further and shows that this can also affect our thoughts, feelings, hormone levels and subsequent behaviour. For example, holding any two of the five “power poses” shown in the talk for only 60 seconds each can increase testosterone levels and feelings of power while reducing cortisol levels and stress. It may even change how you perform if done before important meetings, speeches, exams, job interviews, or other stressful occasions. Like Amy says, power posing allows us to “fake it until we become it!”

    What I liked about it: The concept of power posing brings about all types of possibilities for helping people with anything that they usually lack confidence in or feel a high degree of stress doing. If only 2 minutes of power posing can increase their likelihood of success, then it should be taught everywhere, from homes to schools to workplaces. In the last chapter of Amy Cuddy’s book ‘Presence’ she includes some examples of people (and even horses) that have successfully applied power posing in their lives.

    The Imposter Syndrome is another critical issue that Amy touches on during her talk, and it is an experience that a lot of us (between 60–70%) have at one point or another in our life. I know that I did when I first made the state Volleyball team as a junior and when I first started studying for my Doctoral Psychology degree. The Imposter Syndrome is where people feel like they are a fraud or shouldn’t be in the position they are in because they “don’t deserve it” or that “somebody has made a mistake”. They worry that although they have been able to convince people so far of their capabilities, it is just a matter of time before others catch them out for the imposter they are. Realising how common this is and that in time it can go away would provide hope to anyone watching who is going through a similar experience.

    If you’d like to learn more: Read the book ‘Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges’ by Amy Cuddy.

    1. Do Schools Kill Creativity? by Sir Ken Robinson (38 million views)

    Summary: Our current education system is outdated and fails to adequately prepare today’s children for the uncertainty and unprecedented growth that is likely to occur in the future.

    The current hierarchical structure of subjects tends to place maths and languages at the top, followed by the humanities and arts. Furthermore, art and music are considered higher than drama and dance, even within the arts.

    Somehow as we go up in school levels, the creative pursuits are pushed aside, devalued and even stigmatised instead of the more serious subjects that are supposed to ready us for the workplace. But schools are still preparing us for the needs of industrialism, not for the rapidly evolving society where we are not even aware of what is ahead of us in five years, let alone what the world will be like in 2065.

    Wouldn’t it be better to help each child to utilise their creativity in figuring out where they are most “in their element” and encourage them to pursue a career that is consistent with both their strengths (what they are good at) and their passions (what they enjoy)?

    What I liked about it: Considering that we’ll never exactly know what we are preparing students for, teaching them to be curious, creative, innovative, flexible and resilient should be at the top of the list of the skills to help develop in children. If we can do this, then no matter what takes place in the future, today’s children will be in the best position to adapt, grow and evolve.

    We should also let go of seeing intelligence so narrowly and know that it is diverse, dynamic and distinct. We should start looking for and nurturing each child’s unique capacities instead of trying to force them into becoming A+ Maths and English students. Ken uses the example of Gillian Lynne, who her school diagnosed at eight years of age as having a learning disorder similar to ADHD. Nowadays, she would likely be put on Ritalin to help reduce her restlessness and remain focused in class, but luckily the specialist that she saw noticed her need to move and dance to music and told her mother to enrol her in a dance school instead. Gillian did this, began to flourish, and went on to choreograph “Cats” and “Phantom of the Opera”, entertaining millions and making millions in the process.

    If you’d like to learn more: Read the books ‘The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything’ and ‘Finding Your Element: How to Discover Your Talents and Passions and Transform Your Life’ by Ken Robinson and Lou Aronica.

    Feel free to comment about which ones you liked the best or if there are other TED talks that you would have included in your list.

    Dr Damon Ashworth

    Clinical Psychologist