What’s a Better Life Goal than Happiness?

When I type ‘Happiness books’ into Amazon.com, over 60,000 results appear.

Happiness is clearly a popular topic. However, when I hear people say to me in therapy that they “just want to be happy”, I find it hard to write this down as a goal for them to achieve in therapy.

The problem with striving for happiness is that it is simply one of many emotions. Sometimes we can feel happiness or joy, and other times we can feel sad, angry, jealous, disgusted, guilty, surprised, anxious, or many other things. Not only is it okay if we feel these things at times, but it is normal and healthy.

To say that we only want to feel happy is unrealistic and unhealthy. The movie ‘Inside Out’ taught this message that it is essential to allow ourselves to feel whatever we do at the moment, whether it is sadness, fear, disgust or anger. To live our lives to the fullest, we need to make room for our emotions instead of changing them or pushing them away.

So if feeling happy all the time is not the healthiest goal to aim at, what is?

Life satisfaction?

Life satisfaction (Diener, Emmons, Larsen & Griffen, 1985) has been widely measured worldwide. People from different cities and countries have even had their life satisfaction scores compared to each other.

To determine your life satisfaction, simply ask yourself how satisfied you are with your life currently from 0 to 10, where 10 is the best life you could imagine, and 0 is the worst.

Finland has the highest life satisfaction in the latest World Happiness Report findings. But how do we know if one person’s 8 out of 10 is the same as someone’s from another city or country? For example, both Uzbekistan and Somalia have cities that are the two most hopeful in the world regarding their expected life satisfaction in the future. However, neither country has any cities in the top 20 for their current life satisfaction.

Is it better to be satisfied now but expect that things will worsen in the future, or not be fully satisfied now, but hope that things will continue to improve?

High positive affect and low negative affect?

The positive and negative affect scale (PANAS; Watson, Clark & Tellegen, 1988) has also been widely used to assess how strongly people tend to experience positive and negative emotions. Including ten positive and ten negative emotions represents what people feel more than just focusing on happiness, but it can still be hard to determine the ideal.

Asuncion in Paraguay has the highest levels of positive emotion, and Taipei in Taiwan has the lowest negative emotions. Still, neither country has a city in the top ten globally for both.

‘Inside Out’ and I believe it is better to fully experience all emotions rather than not experience feelings at all. But it may be different depending on the culture that you live in. Should negative emotions even be considered “negative” if all feelings have a purpose or function?

Psychological well-being?

Ryff’s (1989) model of psychological well-being proposed additional aspects of life as crucial to well-being rather than just emotions or life satisfaction. She included self-acceptance, positive relations, autonomy, environmental mastery, purpose in life, and personal growth. Now, these seem like good things to measure if you want to see if someone is psychologically healthy.

Seligman also formulated his PERMA model of well-being. He said that we needed five main things in our lives to thrive or flourish. He detailed these five things in his 2012 book ‘Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being’. They were p = positive emotions, e = engagement, r = (positive) relationships, m = meaning, and a = achievement.


Ryan and Deci (2000) came up with self-determination theory (SDT) over twenty years ago. The researchers derived three core needs that they said each human must-have for optimal functioning. They are needs for competence, relatedness and autonomy. Competence covers environmental mastery and personal growth from Ryff’s model and achievement from Seligman’s, and autonomy is in Ryff’s model too. Relatedness and positive relations with others and positive relationships are all similar. However, SDT doesn’t adequately account for self-acceptance, positive emotions, engagement, purpose in life and meaning.


Kashdan and colleagues (2009; 2017) defined curiosity as “the recognition, pursuit and intense desire to explore novel, challenging and uncertain events“. There are five dimensions of curiosity, including joyous exploration, deprivation sensitivity, stress tolerance, social curiosity and thrill-seeking.

These aspects definitely consider positive emotions, engagement and achievement from Seligman’s well-being model, but less so positive relationships and meaning. Unless social curiosity leads to positive relationships and meaning can be found in trying new things and being curious about everything you encounter?

A Good Life?

The Good Lives Model is a strengths-based approach to rehabilitating offenders. Ward and colleagues (2004) first proposed nine classes of primary goods, which have since been extended to 11 because of further research by Purvis (2010).

The 11 classes of primary goods are life, knowledge, excellence in play, work, agency, inner peace, relatedness, community, spirituality, pleasure, and creativity. If people do not have much of a primary good in their life, approach goals are set to help them achieve more of this good. It can then reduce the person’s risk of reoffending or committing another crime.


Maslow put self-actualisation at the top of his hierarchy of needs. But, according to Scott Barry Kaufman in his excellent book, ‘Transcend: The new science of self-actualisation’, Maslow never intended his hierarchy to be a pyramid of needs, as most people think of when they hear Maslow’s name.

Maslow thought human maturation was an ongoing growth process towards the transcendent experience of being “fully human“. You don’t tick off an area and never think about it again. Instead, over time, you become less concerned with the security needs of safety, connection and self-esteem and more interested in growing and exploring, loving and finding purpose.

The more self-actualised one becomes, the more they understand themselves and their identity. People who have become self-actualised can utilise who they are and their strengths to best help others and the world.

Kaufman has since developed the characteristics of self-actualisation scale (CSAS). In it, there are ten elements of self-actualisation that are assessed. To see how self-actualised you are in each area, say whether you strongly disagree with each statement (1 point), disagree (2 points), are neutral (3 points), agree (4 points), or strongly agree (5 points). Then add up your total for each element, or complete the test here.

1. Purpose

“I feel a great responsibility and duty to accomplish a particular mission in life.”

“I have a purpose in life that will help the good of humankind.”

“I feel as though I have some important task to fulfil in this lifetime.”

2. Humanitarianism

“I feel a deep sense of identification with all human beings.”

“I feel a great deal of sympathy and affection for all human beings.”

“I have a genuine desire to help the human race.”

3. Equanimity

“I tend to take life’s inevitable ups and downs with grace, acceptance, and equanimity.”

“I am relatively stable in the face of hard knocks, blows, deprivations, and frustrations.”

“I am often undisturbed and unruffled by things that seem to bother most people.”

4. Continued freshness of appreciation

“I can appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy, however stale these experiences may have become to others.”

“I often feel gratitude for the good in my life no matter how many times I encounter it.”

“A sunset looks just as beautiful every time I see one.”

5. Peak experiences

“I often have experiences in which I feel new horizons and possibilities opening up for myself and others.”

“I often have experiences in which I feel one with all people and things on this planet.”

“I often have experiences in which I feel a profound transcendence of my selfish concerns.”

6. Creative spirit

“I bring a generally creative attitude to all of my work.”

“I have a generally creative spirit that touches everything I do.”

“I am often in touch with my childlike spontaneity.”

7. Authenticity

“I can maintain my dignity and integrity even in environments and situations that are undignified.”

“I can stay true to my core values even in environments that challenge them.”

“I take responsibility for my actions.”

8. Good moral intuition

“I have a strong sense of right and wrong in my daily life.”

“I trust my moral decisions without having to deliberate too much about them.”

“I can tell deep down right away when I’ve done something wrong.”

9. Acceptance

“I accept all sides of myself, including my shortcomings.”

“I accept all of my quirks and desires without shame or apology.”

“I have unconditional acceptance of people and their unique quirks and desires.”

10. Truth-seeking or efficient perception of reality

“I try to get as close as I can to the reality of the world.”

“I am always trying to get at the real truth about people and nature.”

“I often have a clear perception of reality.”

Once you have scored up the totals for all of your elements, you can see which ones are strengths or weaknesses for you. For example, authenticity was my top score, with peak experiences being my lowest.


Self-actualisation is not precisely the same as psychological well-being or curiosity, but it seems to include elements from both.

Being more curious, psychologically healthy or having optimal psychological well-being are all worthwhile goals in therapy. They are also better to aim for than wanting to “just feel happy”.

Striving for self-actualisation is also another worthy target to aim for in therapy.

Self-actualisation is associated with emotional stability, goal attainment, constructive thinking, authenticity, and meaning in life. It can reduce disruptive impulsivity. Self-actualisation can also increase life satisfaction, curiosity, positive relationships, personal growth, and environmental mastery. Higher self-actualisation scores can also improve work performance, work satisfaction, skill development, creativity and humour ability. Lastly, it can increase one’s feelings of connectedness with the world.

Interestingly, self-actualisation is not correlated with age, education, ethnicity, gender, childhood income or school performance. So while many variables, including one’s environment, can impact a person, it does not look like it has to stop them from becoming more self-actualised.

Exactly how to reach self-actualisation isn’t fully known, but practising Mindfulness Meditation or Loving-Kindness Meditation daily could help. You could write a gratitude letter to thank someone you really care about. Or write down three things that either went well or you appreciated or felt grateful for each day. Or try to look for opportunities to help others, volunteer your skills or time, be curious about others or the world, or engage in a random act of kindness.

Different fields, including mindfulness and positive psychology, are looking into ways to help build psychological health and optimal well-being. Many of these strategies and practices are also likely to help people become more self-actualised.

Now that there is a modern instrument for measuring self-actualisation and its ten components, it will be possible to also create interventions that directly aim to improve these areas over time.

Dr Damon Ashworth

Clinical Psychologist


Published by Dr Damon Ashworth

I am a Clinical Psychologist. I completed a Doctoral degree in Clinical Psychology at Monash University and a Bachelor of Behavioural Sciences and a Bachelor of Psychological Sciences with Honours at La Trobe University. I am passionate about the field of Psychology, and apply the latest empirical findings to best help individuals meet their psychological and emotional needs.

23 thoughts on “What’s a Better Life Goal than Happiness?

  1. Here’s the advice I got from my mentor, philosopher Brand Blanshard at Yale:

    “It is important to happiness not to think too much about it. The person who continually asks himself if he is happy is apt to miss his end. For happiness is, as Aristotle thought, a by-product of healthful and successful activity. Russell (have you seen his book *The Conquest of Happiness*?) thinks that scientists are happier than artists, since they are more commonly lost in objective tasks and not examining their own navels.

    What is important is to find what one can do best (which is generally also the line most useful to others), and then to do it with all one’s might. Happiness will come unsought. If one seeks it directly, one will be like the discontented rich old ladies who haunt Miami hotels … Seeking happiness directly is too likely to end in hippiedom, drugs, and the gutter.”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. A thoroughly enjoyable read, Dr Ashworth, and very interesting too. Being enthusiastic about self-development I too took the test and scored highly for both “continued freshness of appreciation” and “authenticity”, but lowest for “equanimity”. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t make enough time to relax, I do let stress get to me more than I should, my to-do list currently has not less than 40 items on it and both of my partners have been nagging me for months to take some time off to unwind. Perhaps now, with the evidence right in front of me, it might just be high time that I listened!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. What an interesting exploration of a giant topic.

    When I was a young man travelling about rural Mexico, I was struck by the calm, apparently satisfied with life attitude of so many peasants there. Yet relatives of those same people who had migrated to Mexico city for jobs and money, were anxious, worried, and often angry with life.

    What is disturbing though is that the mass of unsatisfied, unhappy people, in city or countryside, seems to be growing fast.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it’s an interesting paradox to me. On one level, the world is richer with more food and disposable income than it has ever had. Yet, the average mood has dropped and stress and anxiety and anger all seem to be on the rise. I do wonder how much of a role smartphones and the constant connection to the internet has on this.

      The book the rational optimist by Matt Ridley made me rethink whether or not it is better to live in the country or the city for most people, but I do agree that life seems a lot harder and more stressful for those that do move into the city.


      1. It is an age old problem – the tale of the country mouse and the city mouse is from ancient Rome. Horace I think.

        Yet there are some of us who are very comfortable living in cities. The SF writer Isaac Asimov claimed he almost never left New York because there was no where else he wanted to be. His biography ‘It’s Been a Good Life’ makes that very clear.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. That self-actualization quiz was pretty good. It affirmed what I suspected and what I’ve been working on: authenticity. Thanks for sharing about this. I also found the bit about Maslow’s hierarchy very interesting. It’s funny how we make everything into a checklist, when it’s more like a continuum.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Great post. I think understanding what happiness should be the goal of everyone. To understand that happiness and fulfillment in life comes after hardship and struggle. It is OK to experience every emotion as each will help us to grow and gain strength in life.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It depends on how you look at it. If you view happiness as satisfaction with life and are already there, then it is a way of being. If you are not satisfied with your life, then getting to that way of being and remaining there becomes a goal for many people

      Liked by 1 person

  6. This was a very interesting read. Right up my alley. I recently saw a therapist who told me that I analyze too much. I told her that analyzing is my passion. It comes from my insatiable appetite for learning about people, life, society in general. As far as emotions go, it’s important to experience whatever emotions come up. Let them come. That is why I wrote my recently published book. It’s a fictional tale about broken souls who need to face up to themselves, and in some ways self-actualize in order to find peace within. It’s about that and so much more. Thank you for sharing this info and for posting the self-actualization test.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. There is so much you can use from real life, with all of your knowledge, to create a work of fiction. Real life is the best source for a fictional tale. 😉 I also recommend getting help from other fiction writers. My critique group has helped me immensely. Thanks for asking about my book. You can go to my blog at the link for a description of the plot and then click on the book to find where to buy it. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s really helpful. I do have another idea for a book, and on some level, I think I’d prefer to make it a fiction book and more of a story than a non-fiction book, but I’m less familiar with how to make fiction work effectively. Finding a critique group sounds like it could be great!

        Liked by 1 person

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