Damon Ashworth Psychology

Category: health & wellness

  • 6 Thinking Traps That We All Fall Into

    6 Thinking Traps That We All Fall Into

    Snow in Las Vegas — I never thought that could happen! But it did, in December 2008, when I took the photo below. Luckily an American friend warned me how cold it could get in the winter. Otherwise, I would have expected it to be hot, just like the other two times I had previously been there. After all, it is a desert, and I had to drive through Death Valley, the hottest place on the planet, to get there each time. But, unfortunately, my past experiences had negatively impacted my ability to predict the weather in winter.

    vegas 18

    But why was this so?

    Have you ever wondered why past experiences can damage judgment?

    or

    Why should you never accept a “free” drink?

    Why do we prefer a wrong map to no map at all?

    Why should you forget the past when making a decision?

    Why is less sometimes more?

    and

    Why is a lame excuse better than none?

    ‘The Art of Thinking Clearly’ by Rolf Dobelli answers all of these questions and more. He lists 99 cognitive biases or thinking errors that research has shown trap us. Each chapter is only 3–4 pages in length, introduces a cognitive bias, gives an example of what it is, and advises avoiding these errors. It has sold over a million copies and is extremely popular in Europe. I would highly recommend it for anyone who wants to be as effective as possible at work and as happy as possible outside of it.

    Here are the answers to the above questions:

    1. Association Bias

    As well as me expecting Las Vegas always to be hot, our past experiences can also affect our judgment through the development of superstitions. For example, let’s imagine that I’ve played an excellent game of Basketball. My mind may reflect on the game afterwards and think about what led to me playing so well. Even though it is unlikely to be a particular cause, I could attribute it to the bowl of pasta that I ate for lunch, or that I had the orange and not the red Powerade during the game, or that I wore my unique socks that were just the right level of thickness and comfort. I then try to do these same things again the next game in precisely the same way, but I don’t play as well. Instead of breaking this association then and there, my mind is more likely to look for other reasons I didn’t play so well and try to avoid these things for the next game. Pretty soon, if I’m not careful, I have 20 things that I must do to play well, and I’m still not playing any better because I’m stressed about having all of the things go “just right”. In reality, the thing that may have allowed me to play well in the first place was that I was relaxed and engaged fully in what I was doing, without having to do anything except play the game.

    I see the same issue in individuals with insomnia, who “can’t sleep” unless they have their eye mask on and earplugs in, even though they aren’t sleeping well anyway, and they used to sleep well without these rituals in the past.

    The Russian Scientist Ivan Pavlov first discovered the association bias with classical conditioning. He was studying the digestive system of dogs, and he realised that the dogs were able to quickly associate two previously unrelated things (bell = food) if they occurred in close enough proximity to each other. While responding to a bell that signals dinner time is helpful because the dog is better able to eat and digest their food, it may be less valuable if they became hungry and started salivating each time they heard the bells of a local church. We can apply this to humans too. Not eating a poisonous berry that has previously led an individual to be sick would increase their likelihood of survival, but not being able to enjoy any berries and the antioxidant properties inherent in these may reduce their health over time.

    The reality is that many things in this world are out of our control and that sometimes things just come down to luck. However, our mind doesn’t like to think this and tries to develop an illusion of control by assuming that merely correlated things are causally related. Just because carbon emissions and obesity have increased since the 1950s doesn’t mean that increased carbon emissions lead to an increased risk of obesity. Many different factors are likely to explain our generally expanding waistlines much more efficiently.

    The solution is to realise what is in your control and read up on what research has shown to be helpful for whatever you are trying to do. Then, focus on what you can influence, and accept whatever you can’t. For example, carbohydrate loading before a big game or race could be helpful, as could electrolytes when dehydrated. It’s unlikely that the colour of the Powerade or the socks had anything to do with how well I played, however.

    Don’t let one experience influence how you react to similar situations in the future. Instead, build up a bigger sample size of experiences before deciding if the two things that your mind is trying to create an association between are helpful for you to maintain. For example, if 10 minutes of mindfulness consistently leads to a better quality of sleep for two weeks in a row, it is worth keeping up. If not, let it go and see what else can help.

    2. Reciprocity

    I remember a few summers ago stopping off at a winery to do a “free wine tasting” with my brother and father on the way to a hike. Fortunately, I didn’t enjoy drinking wine and declined, buying some food and a drink from the cafe instead. However, my brother and father participated, and both walked out with at least two bottles of wine each from the cellar door, at what I thought was a fairly hefty price.

    Robert Cialdini, a Psychologist, has studied reciprocity and has found that people struggle to be in another person’s debt. Where possible, they will naturally feel the urge to repay the favour so that things seem equal or balanced again. Whilst this can lead to a collaborative and cooperative society, some people know about the pull of reciprocity all too well, using it to their advantage to get what they want when they want it. For example, a lot of pharmaceutical companies used to go to extreme lengths (and may still try at times) to get doctors to use their products with patients, ranging from giving them pens or a nice bottle of alcohol to sponsoring conferences and all-inclusive weekends away at a lovely beach resort somewhere in the Caribbean. Even those Timeshare nights where you get a “free dinner” may not sound like such a good idea if you understand our natural urge to repay the debt to someone who gives us something for free.

    The solution is to think twice before saying yes to something if you don’t want it.

    3. Availability Bias

    Imagine this scenario:

    Your 9-year-old child comes to you and asks if they can go to the house of either of their two friends on the weekend — one family has guns in the place, and the other family has a swimming pool.

    Which house would feel safer?

    If you said the family with the swimming pool, you would be wrong, but I don’t blame you for thinking it. It is an availability bias, where what comes to your mind most quickly is confused with what is right. We assume that guns are more dangerous than swimming pools but don’t realise that firearms are often locked away in a safe and secure spot in the house, whereas kids can quickly drown in a swimming pool if left unattended, even briefly. In the US, as pointed out in a Steven Levitt article, one child under ten drowns annually for every 11,000 pools, whereas a gun kills only one child under ten for every million guns. So swimming pools are almost 100 times more likely to kill children under ten than guns. When we think of pools, we don’t think of them as a death trap typically, but instead, we think of summer and fun with family and friends.

    We are much more likely to think of the risk of death and severe injury when thinking about guns. Therefore, our risk map is often wrong, replacing what is right with what information comes to our mind the easiest. We tend to overestimate the risk of dying from a plane crash or murder and underestimate the health risks associated with smoking, binge drinking, an unhealthy diet and inactivity.

    The solution is to look at the statistics and to spend time with people who think differently than you. We need external sources to understand that what is most available isn’t always true.

    4. Sunk Cost Fallacy

    This problem was posed to me when I was learning about this phenomenon at University:

    Let’s imagine that you have booked an upcoming holiday for yourself and have already put down a non-refundable $500 deposit towards this trip. However, you still have $400 to pay. You are looking forward to this trip but wished that you were going with some friends, as you usually don’t enjoy solo trips as much.

    You speak to your friends who say they have already booked a trip for the same week. Of course, it’s not as lovely a place, but it will only cost you $400 a week, and you do prefer going on a trip with friends than by yourself.

    What do you do?

    The sunk cost fallacy occurs when people let their past investments, whether time, money or emotions, influence their decision about what they should do going forward. Both trips will only cost you $400 from this point onwards, so the $500 you have already spent shouldn’t factor into it. So the only logical thing to do is to take the holiday that you are likely to enjoy more. I hate to waste money, so I probably would decide to say no to my friends and try to enjoy the holiday by myself as much as possible or see if I could get another friend to come along. It doesn’t make it the right choice, however.

    So how does this play out in your life? Should you stay in a university course, job, or relationship because of how far you have already come, even if it is evident that it is no longer the right choice for you and that another option would lead to higher happiness? It’s a tricky question again because we are horrible at predicting what will make us happy in the future, as highlighted in the book ‘Stumbling on Happiness’ by Dan Gilbert.

    The solution is to use a surrogate and find out the level of happiness of someone who has just completed what you would like to do. Check out the reviews if it’s a holiday, movie, show, or restaurant. If everyone else wants it, there is a good chance you will, too, so go for it. And if you don’t, don’t feel that you have to see it through to the end just because you have started it. Instead, close the book you aren’t enjoying, turn off the movie, or quit the course, providing that you think there is a better option that will allow you to achieve your long-term goals. Be brave, forget the past, and do what is likely to serve you best going forward.

    5. The Paradox of Choice

    Have you ever noticed how the more of something there is, the harder it is to choose? It is a problem with online dating, cable television, potential career options, deciding what to eat for dinner, and where to go on a holiday. The more decisions we have to make, the more tired we become, but there seems to be a constant need for precisely this everywhere we turn these days. For example, we used to be able to order a coffee. Now it has to be a tall (or another size), skinny (or no milk, 1%, 2% or full cream) soy (or almond or regular cow’s milk), decaf (or caffeinated weakly or extra strong), caramel (or no sugar, raw sugar, stevia, white sugar or other flavours) macchiato (or espresso, latte, flat white or cappuccino) without the cream on top (or with cream, foam or powered chocolate). No wonder people sometimes become nostalgic for when there were fewer choices, and things just seemed to be more straightforward.

    In his book ‘The Paradox of Choice’, Barry Schwartz, a Psychologist, talks about an experiment performed at a supermarket where they offered 24 different jelly samples to customers on day one and six different jelly samples on day two. Which day sold more jelly? Day two, by ten times the amount. Too many options led to indecision and paralysis, and many left without getting any jelly. On the other hand, providing fewer choices made it easier to choose which one they liked the best, and they bought it. So while we may always think that more potential partners, channels, dinner options, and holiday brochures equal a better final decision and outcome, this isn’t always the case. Extensive selections often lead to more unfortunate choices and more significant discontent after a decision.

    The solution is to think carefully about what you want before searching through the options. For example, if you watch a recent horror movie set in outback Australia, Wolf Creek is likely to be a clear winner. Then once you have made your decision, stick to it, at least for a set period, before reviewing the situation and deciding once again. Another research study found that people were happier with their decision when they could not take it back than when they could change their mind whenever they felt like it in the future.

    6. ‘Because’ Justification

    This one is great because it just doesn’t seem like it would work, but it does. In the 1970s, Ellen Langer, a Psychologist, experimented in a Harvard library. She asked numerous people to cut to the front of the line at a photocopier.

    She asked, “Excuse me; I have five pages” in the first scenario. “May I use the photocopier?” 60% of respondents agreed to it.

    She asked, “Excuse me; I have five pages” in the second scenario. “May I use the photocopier because I’m in a rush?” 94% of respondents agreed to it.

    She asked, “Excuse me; I have five pages” in the third scenario. “May I go before you because I have to make some copies?” 93% of respondents agreed to it.

    Notice how the third scenario asks the same thing as the first scenario, with no other reason apart from needing to make copies. Anyone else in the queue at the photocopier needs to do this. Yet because the word ‘because’ is used, 33% more respondents agree. Overall, only 1% less than for those in a rush. So the second excuse is seemingly much better, and one that you would expect more people to allow if they weren’t in a big hurry themselves.

    Therefore, the solution is to justify your reason whenever you want to do something or get away with something, even if the idea isn’t convincing or logical. It may give you that extension that you need on the assignment because you preferred to go to the party on the weekend or get you out of the speeding ticket because it was more fun to go fast. So I dare you to try it next time, because it very well may work.

    There are plenty more thinking errors that most of us succumb to from time to time or all the time. I am sure that I will touch on these more when talking about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in more detail. Until then, check out ‘The Art of Thinking Clearly’, ‘Thinking Fast and Slow’ by Daniel Kahneman, or ‘Predictably Irritational’ by Dan Ariely if you are interested in learning more.

    Once we realise that we are not as rational and in control of our actions as they seem, it becomes a lot easier to be compassionate towards ourselves after we fall into the same trap for the 100th time. The key is to identify once you have fallen into the trap and learn the steps and skills you need to get yourself out.

    Also, a big thanks to Feedspot for featuring Damon Ashworth Psychology at #1 on the top 35 Australian Psychology Blogs on the web.

    Dr Damon Ashworth

    Clinical Psychologist

  • The Need to Belong

    The Need to Belong

    Before the industrial revolution, humans lived in small groups that they were born into and had minimal interaction outside these groups for the duration of their lives.

    Because humans were not great at surviving in the wild, we used our frontal lobes, communication skills and opposable thumbs to work together to build villages and castles that helped protect us from the outside elements, predators and other groups.

    Humans realised that we were safer, more secure, and less vulnerable by bonding and working together. But for the group to work, specific rules or social mores needed to be created and followed. Everyone had to contribute or play their role if they wanted to benefit from the increased resources and protection that the group provided.

    People who didn’t do their bit were at risk of being kicked out of the group, where they would have to fend for themselves or face the world on their own. Isolation typically led to an early and untimely death at the hands of dehydration, starvation, extreme weather, predatory animals or other humans.

    Based on the above story, it makes sense why evolution favoured fitting in and getting along with others over being authentic to ourselves. A potentially hefty price to pay, especially if you were very different from what the group wanted you to be, but worth it if it was a matter of life or death.

    Fast forward to the 21st century

    We suddenly live in a much more mobile world, where it is possible to meet and interact with more people in a single afternoon than our ancestors may have encountered in their entire lifetime.

    Groups and social hierarchies still exist and are much more complicated than ever in many ways. However, they are also more fluid. People can now change their position in the hierarchy or even leave their group entirely or move to another country and start over again if they don’t get the benefits they would like.

    Being excluded from groups or rejected by others is generally no longer a matter of life or death, especially once we become adults. So why does it still feel that way?

    Since the industrial revolution, technology and society have changed so rapidly in the modern and post-modern world compared to how things were in the past that it has been impossible for evolution to keep up. For example, the amount of information in the world used to double about every century. Some now say it is every thirteen months, and IBM said it could one day be as quick as every 12 hours. We are, therefore, still genetically programmed to fit in rather than be our authentic selves, even when it isn’t in our best long-term interests.

    We obey authority, even when it means causing harm to an innocent other (the infamous Stanley Milgram experiment):

    We take on the roles that are given to us and can become cruel in the process (the infamous Robert Zimbardo prison experiment):

    We also conform to everyone else’s opinions in the group, even when it is reasonably apparent that they are all wrong.

    The Pressure to Conform

    In the 1950s, Solomon Asch did a series of experiments looking at the power of social conformity. He brought male participants into the lab and asked them to be part of “a simple perceptual experiment”. Asch first instructed the participants to look at a series of three different sized straight black lines on a card — a short line (A), a long line (B), and a medium-length line (C).

    He then randomly presented one of these three lines on cards for 18 trials and asked the participant and seven other individuals the line they saw — A, B or C.

    Unbeknownst to the participant, the other seven individuals in the room who responded before him were confederates or actors in the experiment. For the first two trials, the confederates all gave the correct answer, as would the participant, but on the third trial, and 11 out of the subsequent 15 attempts, the confederates all gave the same incorrect answer.

    How the participant answered on these incorrect trials indicated the influence of social conformity. Disturbingly, up to 75% of participants gave the same incorrect answer on at least one trial, with the majority experiencing a distortion of judgment over time, where they assumed that their perception must be wrong and the majority’s perception right. There was a sharp contrast to the results in the control group, where there was no pressure to conform, and the error rate was less than 1%, indicating that it was easy to determine which line was which.

    Even with easy decisions, it is possible to begin to doubt ourselves quickly if what we believe goes against the opinions of the majority. We may also start to question our perceptions and experiences. It’s, therefore, no wonder that so many people give up on what they may individually know or believe in so that they can fit in with the group. It doesn’t make it right, however. If who we are or what we think is different to the majority, what is the best thing to do?

    The Possible Solutions

    #1 — Be true to yourself, never be afraid to say anything and always stand up for what you believe.

    While this may seem like the obvious solution, it does appear to be too idealistic and too simplistic. Speaking up, especially to the wrong type of authority figure (boss, teacher, parent, government official), puts us at risk of being punished or ostracised from the group each time we do it. Fortunately, we have the right to protest and say most things that we want to here in Australia, but each group still has its rules and social mores, and not following them can lead to exclusion and isolation. Sometimes speaking up is preferable, but it always comes with considerable risk and potentially significant consequences or emotional pain. What is important is that we try to reflect on things when we have time and try to make up our minds on the issues we care about. By doing this, we can hopefully remain secure and sure about what we believe in and share our opinions in safe settings.

    #2 — Don’t worry about the group and live the life that makes you happy by yourself.

    As long as we have a place to live and an income for food, water and leisure activities, we might be able to get by okay with shutting most people out. Some people take this path after they have gone through significant traumatic events, especially in the context of relationships. Maybe the pain of the social exclusion would lessen if it was self-imposed too, and some jobs require very little interaction with others.

    In reality, though, we are social creatures, and being so isolated from others would likely take its toll over time. It’s why solitary confinement is used as a form of punishment and as a deterrent in prisons. There is also endless amounts of research out there showing the beneficial aspects of social support for optimal physical and emotional health, especially after a traumatic physical or psychological event. Being around people that we share our world with and who care about us is required on some level.

    #3 — Find the right group where you can be as close to your authentic self as possible and are not only accepted by the group but loved and appreciated for this.

    The beauty of our flexible society and the world these days is that we can move if needed, change jobs, let go of old friends and partners if they are not suitable for us, and seek out new ones that are a better fit. But what should we look for in our friends? How do we know if the group is right for us? How do we figure out if it is likely to positively impact our physical and emotional well-being in the long run?

    In her book ‘Four Ways to Click: Rewire Your Brain for Stronger, More Rewarding Relationships’, Amy Banks suggests seeking out people who CARE. With these individuals, you feel:

    C — calm. You feel safe and secure being around them, sharing yourself with them and opening up to them.

    A — accepted. You feel like they accept you for who you are, and you feel the same way with them. You may not always agree with everything that the other person does, but you still appreciate them for who they are.

    R — resonant. You get each other. You can see how the other person thinks and feels and can accurately reflect that back to them. You feel that you connect, click and are on the same wavelength.

    E — energised. You feel energetic, motivated and maybe even inspired around each other. It is the opposite of a draining relationship.

    If you currently don’t feel calm, accepted, resonant or energised with anyone, I highly recommend reading the book, as it suggests some strategies to help rewire your brain to make these types of relationships possible in time.

    Otto Rank, a one-time disciple of Freud, believed that “life is an ongoing struggle between the desire for autonomy and union”. Both are important, and how much you choose to give up one for the other needs to be considered and determined at various points throughout our lives.

    Although some sacrifices do seem necessary, I’d like to hope that we are much closer to being able to have the capacity to be both our authentic selves and to connect with others truly. Of course, we first need to know ourselves. We then need to seek out the right people and groups to spend time with.

    Dr Damon Ashworth

    Clinical Psychologist

  • Nostalgia Feels Nice, But What if the World is Getting Better and Not Worse?

    Nostalgia Feels Nice, But What if the World is Getting Better and Not Worse?

    One of my favourite movies of all-time is ‘Midnight in Paris’. Let’s just forget about the director of the film for a second, and focus on the main reason why I love it – nostalgia.

    In the movie, Gil, played by Owen Wilson, writes a novel about a character who owns a nostalgia shop. He idealises the past, especially the creative scene of Paris in the 1920s where Ernest Hemingway bumped shoulders with F. Scott Fitzgerald, Pablo Picasso, Gertrude Stein, Salvadore Dali and many other famous writers and artists.

    In the first great scene of the movie, after a few wines and a midnight stroll, Wilson’s character somehow finds himself at a party back in the 1920s, meeting all of these icons. While there, he also meets an intriguing woman, Adriana, played by Marion Cotillard, who idealises Paris in the 1890s.

    Later in the movie, they somehow step back to the 1890s together, and Adriana decides to stay there forever. Gil can’t understand this, as to him, the 1920s is the best decade and much better than his real-life back in the 21st century. Eventually, he realises that no matter what time you are in, the present will always be “a little unsatisfying, because life’s a little unsatisfying.”

    Earlier in the movie, Paul, played by Michael Sheen, explains the concept further:

    Nostalgia is denial — denial of the painful present… the name for this denial is golden age thinking — the erroneous notion that a different time period is better than the one one’s living in — it’s a flaw in the romantic imagination of those people who find it difficult to cope with the present.

    Because Paul is a jerk, what he said had little impact on Gil in that scene. But, eventually, Gil does see the truth and decides to break up with his obnoxious fiance and live a more authentic life to who he truly is in the 21st century. He then meets a girl who also idealises the 1920s.

    If you could go back to any time in history, would you, or would you choose to continue living in the present?

    It’s an interesting thought experiment to me, but I honestly do not believe that I would, unless I had a time machine that could also bring me back to 2024 after I’d spent a week there and had seen with my own eyes how things were.

    How are things improving?

    In the book Homo Deus, the author Yuval Noah Harari said that it has only been recently that wars, famine and plague are no longer the massive problems they once were.

    We have more people than ever, yet we are also much less violent than ever, with better medical care, a higher level of prosperity, a much lower infant mortality rate, and longer life expectancies than we have ever experienced in the past.

    We have come a long way concerning worker’s rights, children’s rights, women’s rights, animal rights, LGBTIQ rights, and the removal of legal discrimination based on race, sex, gender, culture, religion, or disability. Virtually any form of discrimination is now frowned upon, especially from a legal perspective in Western civilisation.

    In his latest book, “Enlightenment Now”, Steven Pinker shows that we are 100 times wealthier than we were 200 years ago, with a more even distribution of wealth than there used to be. Sure, the top 1% of earners still make more money than the bottom 99% combined, but things have kept improving for people at the bottom too.

    The poor have more technology now than the rich could have even dreamed of 150 years ago, We have better nutrition, stimulation, sanitation, and education, and our IQs have risen by 30 points in the last 100 years. That means that someone with an average IQ of 100 these days would have been considered a genius who was more intelligent than 98% of the population just a century ago.

    We are 200 times less likely to die from war than in the early 1940s, 96% less likely to die in a car crash, 95% less likely to die while at work, and 92% less likely to die in a fire. Even nuclear weapons have decreased by 85%, thanks to the joint efforts of the US and Russia to give up on their arms race (Pinker, 2018).

    Some say that our health is worse, but then why do we keep living longer than ever? The average life expectancy around the globe continues to rise, with some African countries increasing their life expectancy by more than ten years across the last decade. Individuals in these countries are therefore no closer to their death even though they are now ten years older!

    Some say that we have become more isolated and lonely. Most notably, a sociologist, Robert Putnam, wrote the best-selling book ‘Bowling Alone’. In this book, he explains that our social capital has declined since its peak in 1964. According to Putnam’s extensive data, we engage less in community life, see friends less, join clubs less, play sport less and generally do more things alone than we ever have before. We also watch a lot of television. As a result, Putnam says that we are suffering from higher rates of suicide and mental health disorders than ever before.

    It turns out that this may not be true, however. While we have a greater awareness of mental health conditions than we had in the past, we also have more people talking about their difficulties and seeking help. So, although rates of depression and anxiety are increasing in some surveys, this could mean a higher social acceptance of these conditions and a reduction of stigma around personally admitting to having mental health difficulties.

    Support for improved well-being across time is provided again by Pinker when he found that between 1981 and 2007, 45 out of 52 countries assessed exhibited higher rates of happiness in 2007 than they did in 1981. Loneliness also appears to be declining since 2000, at least amongst US college students (Pinker, 2018). So maybe the internet, smartphones and social media aren’t that bad for us after all?

    There is still a long way to go, but we are further along the path towards enlightenment than we have ever been in the past, which gives me optimism for the future. In addition, not watching the nightly news helps me see things how they are, rather than the fear and rage that media companies like to sell us.

    With the COVID-19 pandemic, it was easy to glorify the past before the world stopped and coronavirus turned things upside down. However, things were not always peachy before 2020. So, instead of just trying to rebuild the past, let’s create the best future that we can for as many people as possible.

    Dr Damon Ashworth

    Clinical Psychologist

  • How to Spend Your Money for Optimal Happiness

    How to Spend Your Money for Optimal Happiness

    Not all the best things in life are free.

    I was on holiday in Queenstown, New Zealand, back in 2016 and was amazed at how beautiful the scenery was. I was also amazed by how many experiences were on offer for people visiting or living there.

    On my first day in Queenstown, I walked into the town. I immediately saw brochures for the speedboats, canyon swings, skydiving, mountain biking, snowboarding and heli-skiing in several shop windows.

    I began hiking up a mountain, and suddenly someone whirred by me through the trees on a zip line travelling at 70km/h. It looked scary but also exhilarating.

    Further up the hill, I came across a luge track where families and friends were roaring down the mountain in their carts, smiling and laughing and generally having a great time while taking in the breathtaking views. I saw people bungee jumping from a platform off the side of the mountain, and just above that were people paragliding down to the valley floor.

    I don’t recall seeing many unhappy faces that day. On the contrary, most people were fully engaged by others or what they were doing. Engagement is crucial for optimal well-being.

    However, apart from hiking and taking in the scenery, these activities did come at a considerable cost. The several days of skiing that I did afterwards at the surrounding Alpine Resorts were no exception.

    If I had taken more money with me on that trip to New Zealand, I would have been able to experience a more extensive array of potentially fun activities. Furthermore, as long as I enjoyed these activities, I believe they would have contributed to a higher level of happiness.

    Can money ever buy us happiness?

    Anyone who says that money can’t buy us happiness is looking at it too simplistically. I’ve seen too many financially stressed clients know that a significant gift of money would be a massive assistance in their time of need. It would reduce their stress and hopefully increase their level of financial security, happiness and overall well-being. Right?

    Looking at past lottery winners, we can see that winning a large sum of money does increase short-term happiness. However, 12 months later, the lottery winner has typically returned to their pre-win levels of joy and sometimes feels even worse.

    Furthermore, even people who have up to 10 million dollars of net worth often don’t feel financially secure and still believe that if they had more money, they would feel more confident, happier, and more able to buy everything they wanted.

    It seems that it almost doesn’t matter how much money we have. As a result, most people will continue to feel financially insecure and typically strive to make more money than they have currently. But is this the best way?

    Another fascinating study found that beyond a certain amount of money (approximately $70,000 annually), an increase in salary does not typically lead to greater overall emotional or physical well-being. On the other hand, it seems that we do need to have enough money to look after our fundamental needs (food, shelter, water, safety etc.) and have a little bit of leisure or fun. However, making more money doesn’t seem to hold the answer to happiness, especially if we spend it in the ways that most people do.

    Why does more money not equal more happiness?

    I believe that the traps of Materialism and Capitalism are to blame, especially in Western culture. We think that working hard, making lots of money, and buying lots of stuff is the secret to happiness and success. This equation is just a myth, however, and it is required for consumerism to flourish. Consumerism prioritises short-term and societal growth above individual functioning or what is best over a long-term basis. It drives us to believe that we need the stuff to be happy, and this is often at the expense of things we need in our lives to flourish.

    So what can we do about it?

    In the excellent book “Stuffocation” by James Wallman, he makes the case that most people in Western society have too much stuff due to their consumer lifestyle. It is complicating our lives and stressing us out. This stress is now offsetting any of the benefits that come from the stuff that we buy. So should we throw everything out?

    Wallman does explore Minimalism as a possible solution to our Stuffocation. However, he doesn’t believe that Minimalism is the antidote because it is purely defined by what materialism isn’t. True freedom can only come from doing what is suitable for us, not doing the opposite of what is wrong. Minimalism is too confining.

    We could all just quit our jobs too, and stop making money, but the financial debt would catch up to us pretty quickly unless we somehow learned to become entirely self-sufficient and live off the land. Some people and communities can do this, but it’s not for everyone.

    Working less may help. Sweden has recently led the way with this by shortening their workdays down to 6 hours. Many people complain about being time-poor, and reducing how much time we spend at work would increase the amount of time available for people to use in whichever way they find most meaningful. It could be time with family, friends, engaging in exercise or hobbies, or taking some time to reflect and relax. We could cut down through improving productivity or efficiency (books like the ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ by Stephen Covey or ‘Getting Things Done’ by David Allen could help) or cut down our commitments. Our productivity declines if we work more than 9 hours per day or more than 48 hours per week, so this should be a helpful guide for the maximum hours to work for optimal happiness.

    Once you have the extra time, it’s still about making sure that you spend your money in ways that will give you the biggest bang for your buck.

    How to spend money in ways that can increase happiness

    (1) buy more experiences rather than material objects — Wallman believes that Experientialism is the antidote to Materialism and Consumerism. We need to invest money in experiences and not in stuff. We need to be able to engage in these experiences. They also need to be accessible and affordable to have a significant impact on our overall well-being. If you have to invest in stuff, buy stuff that will make life easier for you to have more of the experiences you would like and less of the experiences that you don’t.

    (2) make sure that you are buying things for the right reason — A car or even a ride-on lawnmower can be a way to make things easier or to have an enjoyable experience, or it can just be more stuff. We need to determine why we want to buy something, and if it is about impressing others (showing our status) rather than for our enjoyment, it probably won’t lead to long-lasting happiness.

    (3) buy more frequent and smaller pleasures, rather than less frequent and larger ones — People are relatively insensitive to the price of an object. If we buy less expensive things, we get a similar pay-off or reward (in happiness terms) for a much smaller cost. The less expensive stuff we buy, the less we need to work and save, and the less credit card debt we’ll have. With the Australian Securities and Investment Commission stating that Australians owe nearly $32 billion in credit card debt, or over $4,300 each, this is advice that a lot of us could take on.

    (4) avoid credit card debt and overpriced insurance — Have you ever noticed that all of the tall buildings in cities tend to belong to either banks or insurance companies. There is a reason for this. They prey on our cognitive biases and utilise effective marketing strategies to get us to buy things now and pay them later. The average Australian pays over $725 of interest annually on the $4,300 they owe on their credit card at an interest rate between 15 and 20%. Suppose we pay only the minimum repayments, whether a credit card or a home loan. It will take a long time to pay it off and cost you a lot more money in interest. So spending more to reduce our interest or getting a debit card rather than a credit card will help us to not waste money for nothing in return except for immediate gratification. With extended warranties and no excess insurance, we will have to pay a premium for “peace of mind”, so it’s essential to work out if that peace is worth the extra cost for you. Insurance works like the lottery — we always think, “what if it happened to me?” and forget about the actual probability of these events occurring.

    (5) delay gratification by booking ahead — With more expensive experiences, the longer we can plan these, the better it is for us. Not only do we get the experience, but also the anticipation and excitement leading up to it. So the next time you want to be spontaneous and book a concert ticket or holiday, book it for six months in advance and thank me for the increased happiness later.

    (6) use your money to give to or help others — There was a study where they gave individuals $20. Half of them spent it on themselves, and the other half gave it away to someone else. They then tracked the happiness of these groups over some time. Whilst the happiness levels were similar between the two groups immediately after the event, the group who gave the money away were significantly higher only two weeks later. So giving to others does make a difference, both to them as well as to you. It is a lovely message to keep in mind with Christmas around the corner.

    If you are interested in other ways to increase happiness through spending, please check out the fascinating article titled ‘If Money Doesn’t Make You Happy Then You Probably Aren’t Spending It Right’ by Elizabeth Dunn, Daniel Gilbert and Timothy Wilson.

    Dr Damon Ashworth

    Clinical Psychologist

  • 7 Life Lessons That We Can Learn From Hollywood Movies

    7 Life Lessons That We Can Learn From Hollywood Movies

    I recently read a book titled ‘Writing Screenplays that Sell’ by Michael Hauge and was fascinated to see how psychologically informed screenwriters create engaging stories with meaningful plots and entertaining characters.

    Although Hollywood sometimes gets bad press for promoting materialistic and unrealistic goals for the audience, I do believe that we can learn some valuable life lessons from dissecting the common elements of screenplays that result in successful movies.

    Here are eight insights that I believe are important:

    #1 — Be the hero of your story

    Every movie has a hero that we identify with and develop empathy for. Screenwriters do this deliberately because we are likely to care more about the story and become involved in the movie if it focuses on one character and their perspective and challenges more than the other characters.

    In real life, the person whose perspective we can most tune into is ourselves, and we feel the emotional impact of our experiences whether we like it or not (even though many people try to tune these out). It, therefore, makes a lot of sense to ensure that we are the hero of our own life.

    Unless you believe in reincarnation, we only have one life. Once we become adults, no one else is entirely responsible for our life’s direction except for us. We are the screenwriters, directors and the main character in our story — unless we give that power up to somebody else. It is a scary thought but also a potentially liberating one.

    Although there are limitations to our abilities and dreams, and it is essential to have realistic expectations, I see too many people that put up roadblocks and barriers where they don’t need to be.

    So if we are free to do what we want with our lives and responsible for how they turn out, what do we want to do? Live the life that someone else expects of us or follow our dreams and hopefully achieve our goals.

    #2 — Challenge yourself if you would like to grow

    Screenwriters are taught that a movie should start slowly and build pace as the film progresses by increasing the magnitude and difficulty of challenges that the hero faces until the film’s climax. A resolution is then typically achieved, and all of the loose ends are tied up before the movie concludes with the hero being a much better person than they were at the beginning of the film. It is from overcoming bigger and bigger adversity throughout the film that the hero develops and grows. Without challenges or difficulties to master, this growth and character development would be impossible, and people would find the movie dull.

    In real life, I see a lot of clients who want a life free of challenges. They strive for a life of inner peace without stress or anxiety and believe that they can achieve this by consistently remaining in their comfort zone. So they do the same thing each day, don’t take any risks, and generally feel okay. A lot of them will tell you that something is missing, however.

    We need to push beyond what feels comfortable to grow, and with this comes a certain amount of stress and anxiety. However, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing and can be a good indication that you are sufficiently challenging yourself so long as you are not feeling overwhelmed. Just remember to start small with tasks that feel a little scary but are also achievable, and as you build up confidence, move on to more significant challenges. As long as the challenges are consistent with changes that you would like to bring about in your life, you will feel more energetic and alive than you ever could by remaining in your comfort zone, even if you fail.

    “The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things.”

    Rainer Maria Rilke

    #3 — Conflict leads to more intense emotional experiences

    Screenwriters learn to create conflict in every scene where possible, usually by having two characters with different views and objectives. Conflict creates emotional involvement far more than general exposition ever could, leading to a more engaged audience.

    In real life, especially in relationships, this isn’t always a good thing. We might feel a more significant attraction or more intense emotional experience with someone who is opposed to us in what they want. I see it often when individuals who are anxiously attached (like being close to their partner and worry when they are apart) end up in relationships with avoidantly attached individuals (like their independence and feel trapped if they are too close). Each time it leads to an emotional rollercoaster ride, with lots of conflicts, big ups and downs, and greater emotional involvement. It keeps both parties occupied and interested but will do more harm than good in the end.

    Finding someone who wants the same things that we do may be less exciting initially but can also lead to greater satisfaction and well-being in the long run. Be aware of the emotional trap, and use your head and heart when determining if a relationship is suitable for you.

    #4 — Have clearly defined goals

    All heroes will have the primary goal or external motivation that they will pursue throughout the film. Screenwriters want the audience to cheer on the hero as they strive towards their dream. For example, it may be to escape from or kill the bad guy in a horror movie. In a heist movie, it may be to steal the money and get away with it. In a romantic comedy, it is to win the affection of the love interest. A coming of age story is to learn something, and in a sports movie, it is to win.

    In real life, it is essential to think of the big picture at times and ask yourself where you would like to be in 1, 2, 5, 10 and 20 years from now? How would you want to be spending your days? Whether owning a business, buying a house, getting married, having children or running a marathon, these external, observable goals help keep us motivated and focused on our destination or where we would like to see ourselves in the future. Once these goals have been achieved, you can tick them off the list. It then becomes vital to elicit and develop further plans to pursue.

    “Believe big. The size of your success is determined by the size of your belief. Think little goals and expect little achievements. Think big goals and win big success. Remember this too! Big ideas and big plans and often easier — certainly no more difficult — than small ideas and small plans.”

    David Schwartz

    #5 — Understand why you want to achieve these goals — clarify your values

    The movie may not explicitly state it, but a hero will still have an internal motivation or reason for pursuing a dream. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be worth overcoming all of the obstacles they face to achieve the movie’s end goal.

    Two people may want to buy a house or run a marathon, but their reasons for doing so could be completely different. For example, one home buyer may wish for security and a place to call home, whereas the other wants to make their parents and family proud of them (to gain love, approval or acceptance). Likewise, one marathon runner may decide to enter the race to become healthier and lose weight. In contrast, another may do it to spend more time with their friend or partner that loves running (for greater connection or intimacy).

    Values, unlike goals, can never be ticked off the list but are guiding principles that can either be followed or not from moment to moment. For example, if honesty is an essential value to you, you can be honest whenever you tell the truth and dishonest whenever you lie. By living honestly, you will be feeling more fulfilled, and by being dishonest, you will likely feel dissatisfied or guilty. So firstly, clarify which values are most important to you, and then set short, medium and long-term goals that are consistent with the guiding principles you choose.

    “To be truly rich, regardless of his fortune or lack of it, a man must live by his own values. If those values are not personally meaningful, then no amount of money gained can hide the emptiness of life without them.”

    John Paul Getty

    #6 — Have mentors that can help you to achieve your goals

    Screenwriters call these characters reflections, and they are there to help the hero learn and grow along with their journey towards their ultimate goal. This is Robin Williams to Matt Damon in ‘Good Will Hunting’, Mr Miyagi to Daniel-son in ‘The Karate Kid’, and Morgan Freeman in most movies (‘The Shawshank Redemption’, ‘Bruce Almighty’, ‘The Dark Knight’). Mentors usually don’t have a significant character arc because they are already evolved in areas where the hero wants to improve. However, they know what the right thing is and help guide the hero on their path.

    In real life, it is essential to have mentors or people that have done what you would like to do that you can turn to for help when you get stuck, have questions, or need advice. By seeking support through individuals who are more knowledgeable and experienced in the areas you are hoping to build skills, it is possible to learn from their insights and mistakes without repeating them yourself, leading to a more effective learning and growth process. Furthermore, if they can be honest and direct in their feedback of your strengths and weaknesses, they can also help you see the real you and guide you towards what is correct and genuine, even if you don’t exactly want to hear it. Mentors can be friends or relatives or can even be paid for or hired too. It is why people have psychologists, personal trainers and life coaches. It is also why I obtain regular external supervision to keep improving towards becoming the best psychologist that I can be.

    “The way for you to be happy and successful, to get more of the things you really want in life, is to study and emulate those who have already done what you want to do and achieved the results you want to achieve.”

    Brian Tracy

    #7 — It is our actions that define who we become

    In his book ‘Story’, Robert McKee, a famous screenwriter, says that the hero’s character is genuinely revealed not in the scenes when everything is relaxed and calm, but in their choices when the going gets tough. The greater the pressure, the more revealing the scene is of the hero’s essential nature. Notice it is not their intentions or things they may speak about doing earlier in the film, but what they do when it really counts.

    How will you react in the most significant moments in your life? With courage and persistence despite fear or challenge, or with avoidance, excuses or procrastination? With compassion, generosity and respect, or criticalness, selfishness and contempt? Will you talk about all of the great things you want to do or the things that you could have been, or focus on what you can still do and get out there and do it? It doesn’t just have to be big moments either.

    “Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great”

    Orison Swett Marden

    Dr Damon Ashworth

    Clinical Psychologist

  • 25 Ideas That Could Change Your Life

    25 Ideas That Could Change Your Life

    1. KAIZEN

    A Japanese term meaning “improvement”.

    I think of Kaizen as ‘continuous improvement’ or “continual change for the better, one small step at a time”, as this is how I first heard of the term.

    Many successful Japanese manufacturing companies in automobiles and technology have used this exact approach to obtain massive success over time.

    What could you achieve if you just focused on taking one small step in the right direction today and then another one every day after that?

    2. BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE…

    Gandhi did not say, “Be the change you want to see in the world,” even though people attribute this quote to him. What he said was this:

    “We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.”

    Mahatma Gandhi

    3. BE HERE NOW

    If we are fully present in the moment and aware of what is going on both internally and externally, we choose what we decide to do.

    If you do not feel present, meditate, ground yourself, get outside, move and connect with your five senses in the moment and the world around you.

    “Awareness is all about restoring your freedom to choose what you want instead of what your past imposes on you.”

    Deepak Chopra

    4. CHOICES DEFINE YOUR LEGACY

    It is a lengthy process of choices becoming actions, actions becoming habits, and your habits informing your character and ultimate legacy. A Mr Wiseman first said a quote like this in 1856. It tells us that whatever we sow, we must later reap.

    Therefore, it is essential to engage in positive actions before what we do becomes habitual. Gambling, smoking and binge drinking all start as choices. But the more engrained something is, the harder it is to stop. If we choose to engage in healthy activities enough, they too can become automatic for us.

    “Neurons that fire together, wire together.”

    Donald Hebb

    5. LIFE WASN’T MEANT TO BE EASY

    We often don’t appreciate things that fall into our lap, and we tend to value things much more when we put in some hard work to get them. Even people who build their own IKEA furniture think these items are worth more than those who do not.

    I know I’d be more proud of the $3 million I built up through hard work than the equivalent amount of money won through a lottery. How about you?

    “Anything in life worth having is worth working for.”

    Andrew Carnegie

    6. THE MAGIC HAPPENS OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE

    “Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”

    Brian Tracy

    So many people want a comfortable life and therefore stick to what feels safe. But, unfortunately, if you are not willing to feel uncomfortable, your life will only get smaller over time.

    When you first step out of your comfort zone, it will be scary; you will feel awkward and even feel unsafe. But is it really, or does it just feel threatening because it is new? If at this moment, you run back to what you are used to, you won’t grow. However, if you persist through the initial pain, it will only get more comfortable in time, and your comfort zone will continue to expand and grow.

    7. RETHINK WHAT IT MEANS TO BE FREE

    What does freedom mean to you?

    You are doing whatever your parents, school, bosses, or government wants you to do? UMM NO. That is called compliance.

    You are rebelling against everything and doing the exact opposite of what your parents, school, bosses and government tell you to do? STILL NO. That is called counterpliance. Your actions are still being defined by what others tell you to do. Plus, it doesn’t always work out too well for you.

    You are just living for the moment and indulging in all of your passions and pleasures whenever you want because YOLO, right? NOPE. Hedonism may feel great for a night but not for a lifetime. It can also have nasty side effects if you aren’t careful, including weight gain, disease, debt, dissatisfaction, and even death.

    True freedom must come from making the choice that is likely to be the best for you in the long term, even if it denies you that last alcoholic drink or dessert or the fun that happens after 2 am. You might want the added snooze time in the mornings, but If you can’t get yourself to do things that are difficult or painful in the short term but beneficial in the long run, you can never honestly be free in the future. As a former NAVY SEAL famously said:

    “Discipline equals freedom.”

    Jocko Willink

    8. GETTING STARTED IS ALWAYS THE HARDEST PART

    “The secret of getting ahead is getting started”

    Mark Twain

    In a book that I once read (the Willpower Instinct, I think), I came across a 10-minute rule that I found surprisingly helpful. If you are not sure if you are up for doing something, give it a go for 10 minutes, and if after 10 minutes you still don’t feel up to it, stop. I tried it a few times by going to the gym, and usually, once I get there and get into it, I’m fine, but my brain often tries to tell me that I am too tired before I go.

    The 10-minute strategy seems to work because it is much easier to get our brains to do something for 10 minutes than for a considerable chunk of time. It is because it requires much less energy when we are forecasting our capacity to do the task. In addition, human brains are cognitive misers, which means they are always trying to “help” by conserving energy. So if you want to get started or you feel tired, think small.

    9. THE FIRST DRAFT OF ANYTHING IS TRASH

    “Don’t get discouraged because there’s a lot of mechanical work to writing. There is, and you can’t get out of it. I rewrote the first part of A Farewell to Arms at least fifty times. You’ve got to work it over. The first draft of anything is shit. When you first start to write you get all the kick and the reader gets none, but after you learn to work it’s your object to convey everything to the reader so that he remembers it not as a story he had read but something that happened to himself.”

    Ernest Hemingway

    This quote is fantastic because people often think they need to produce a masterpiece the first time they try or do something. However, if one of the most famous authors of all time made horrible first drafts, why should we expect more on ours? The solution is to focus on the process, not the outcome, and produce a draft before editing, reviewing, or criticising what you have done.

    10. DON’T PUT THINGS OFF UNTIL LATER

    “If something takes less than 2 minutes to do, don’t write it down or add it to your to do list — do it now.”

    David Allen, Getting Things Done

    Most people have so much stuff to do at any time that it is challenging to ever get their to-do list down to zero. It causes anxiety and stress for many people. However, the key is to have an excellent system to manage everything that comes in so that you don’t have to keep worrying and thinking about everything you need to do. Getting things done (GTD) is one such system. And the two-minute rule from GTD says that small tasks should never go on your to-do list if you can get them done now. This rule alone means that my email inbox rarely has any unopened or unreplied emails.

    11. BE YOURSELF; EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKEN

    Some believe that Oscar Wilde first said this, but the fascinating quote investigator website said they could not find it in any of his writings. However, Keith Craft noted something similar in announcing that we all have a unique fingerprint, and we can, therefore, “leave a unique imprint that no one else can leave.”

    “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

    Ralph Waldo Emerson

    12. WE REGRET THE THINGS WE DON’T DO MORE THAN THE THINGS WE DO

    We tend to think about what we may lose if we take a risk when deciding the future. However, when reflecting on the past, we regret what we missed by not taking a chance. The question then becomes, do we:

    1. Play it safe, and not put ourselves out there because people may judge or criticise us for giving something a go and not succeeding? Or
    2. Criticise others for being brave enough to try something? Or
    3. Throw caution to the wind and give it our best shot, knowing that we will learn and grow more from mistakes and setbacks than we ever would have by sitting back and criticising others?

    “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

    Theodore Roosevelt

    13. FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY!

    Susan Jeffers was my hero back when I read her top-selling self-help book. I couldn’t believe that I didn’t have to get rid of my fear before I tried to act courageously.

    The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris then further highlighted to me that the actions tend to come before the feeling of confidence, not the other way around.

    Fear was designed to keep us safe as a hunter-gatherer but holds us back more in modern-day life than it helps us sometimes. So instead, we need to assess the actual level of risk whenever we feel fear and go for it if the situation feels scary but is pretty safe. It could be horror movies, roller coaster rides, plane flights, or public speaking.

    “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

    Franklin Delano Roosevelt, inaugural address, 1932

    14. WYSIATI

    “What you see is all there is.”

    Daniel Kahneman

    How you are thinking and feeling in the moment is very much influenced by how you are thinking and feeling. If you feel on top of the world, you are likely to be feeling happy, thinking positively about yourself, others, the world and your future. Anything may feel possible. Then the next week, you have a setback or get sick, and you start to feel depressed and hopeless and think negatively about yourself, others, the world and your future. Of course, both can’t be true if they are only a week apart. It’s therefore essential to understand the power of WYSIATI.

    Don’t think too big picture if you feel flat and down, and try not to do your weekly shop when you’re too hungry. The choices you’ll make once you’ve picked up a bit and have eaten something are likely to be very different.

    15. MEMENTO MORI

    “Remember that you have to die.”

    Latin phrase

    In many cultures worldwide and throughout history, acknowledging our mortality through prayer, meditation, reflection, ceremony, or celebration is more common than in atheistic or modern-day Western life.

    The phrase memento mori helped people consider the transient nature of earthly life, our goods and our pursuits and enabled them to become humble and clarify what was important to them.

    16. THINGS FADE; ALTERNATIVES EXCLUDE

    Two things that are inevitable in life are:

    1. no matter what we do, time passes and things erode over time (also known as the second law of thermodynamics), and

    2. if we go down one path, we cannot go down another track simultaneously.

    “Decisions are difficult for many reasons, some reaching down into the very socket of our being. John Gardner, in his novel Grendel, tells of a wise man who sums up his meditations on life’s mysteries in two simple but terrible postulates: “Things fade: alternatives exclude.” […] Decision invariably involves renunciation: for every yes there must be a no, each decision eliminating or killing other options (the root of the word decide means “slay,” as in homicide or suicide).”

    Irvin Yalom (1991). Love’s executioner. p. 10. Penguin Books.

    17. PARKINSON’S LAW

    Have you ever wondered how you get way more work done on some days when you are super busy? Then on quiet days, you don’t have much work to do but struggle to get it all done. The reason for this is Parkinson’s law:

    “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.”

    The Stock–Sanford corollary to Parkinson’s rule is better, in my opinion, and it is something I used a lot when studying at uni:

    “If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute to do.”

    If productivity is what you are going for, give yourself a closer deadline and someone to hold you accountable if you don’t meet it, and voila, productivity and efficiency improve!

    18. THE IMPORTANCE OF MEANING AND PURPOSE

    “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Nietzsche was a nihilist, which meant that he didn’t think the world had any meaning in it. Irvin Yalom said that even if the world is meaningless overall, it is still essential for us to find personally meaningful things individually or as a group. Viktor Frankl showed that in the concentration camps in WWII, those with some higher purpose beyond the camps were the ones who could manage to survive the horrible atrocities they faced every day.

    What’s personally meaningful to you? Where could you find purpose?

    19. DON’T LISTEN TO THE DOUBTERS

    “Impossibility is not a fact — it’s an opinion.”

    Muhammed Ali

    Think of anyone who has done something groundbreaking or is still trying to do something pioneering today — Henry Ford, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Barack Obama, Richard Branson, Elon Musk, Bill Gates. I wonder how many people told them to give up, grow up, stop being deluded, or think realistically? I’d say most of them.

    Just because someone hasn’t done something doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t do it. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have had the massive amount of progression that we have had over the past 200 years.

    20. CLARIFY YOUR VALUES AND MAKE DECISIONS BASED ON THESE

    “(Some people spend) their lives doing work they detest to make money they don’t want to buy things they don’t need in order to impress people they dislike.”

    Emile Gauvreau

    Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that your life has to be a certain way just because everyone else is doing something a certain way and telling you that you should too.

    By clarifying your values first and building your hierarchy, you can see if what you are currently doing is consistent with what is essential. If not, what changes could you make that you’d be willing to make to help you start heading in the right direction? The earlier you make these changes, or at least concrete plans to make them, the higher chance you will be happy with the path you are on.

    21. RELATIONSHIP WARMTH IS THE NUMBER ONE PREDICTOR OF LONG-TERM HEALTH AND HAPPINESS

    “Love people, use things. The opposite never works.”

    Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus, The Minimalists

    The minimalist movement has picked up in the last 20 years in response to most of us in the Western world having way too much stuff and realising that it doesn’t make us any happier. If anything, it causes us more stress. Clothing used to be a scarce and valuable thing. Now wardrobes and houses are overflowing, and storage facilities are popping up everywhere to help clear some space.

    What if we just bought fewer things and focused more on what matters: our connections with the important people in our lives. Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, found that in the end, close relationships are more critical to our health and happiness than anything else.

    22. OCCAM’S RAZOR

    “Given several possible explanations about something, the simplest one is probably right.”

    Is the dog above trying to read, or is it merely sniffing the book?

    Occam’s razor is why conspiracy theories are never likely to be true. Think about the moon landing, or 9/11, or the Illuminati, flat earth theories, or any other conspiracy out there. For the conspiracy plot to be accurate, so many added levels are needed. Even people keeping the scheme a secret for years without anyone turning themselves in or trying to make money out of it is unlikely. So it’s much simpler and more likely that there is no conspiracy.

    You can also apply Occam’s razor to losing weight, sleeping well, getting stronger, or improving any skill. Some people have complicated theories, but usually, the answer lies in relatively simple explanations. Doing too much or complicating things beyond what is necessary often backfires.

    Reduce things back to the bare essentials, and see what happens.

    23. LAW OF DIMINISHING RETURNS

    The law of diminishing returns says that each time we do something to receive a benefit, the benefit will be less and less.

    Let’s say you order this massive stack of pancakes in the picture above. The first pancake may taste amazing, and the pleasure received is a 9 out of 10. After that, each bite is likely to be slightly less enjoyable than the bite before. Finally, if you somehow managed to get through the whole stack, the last taste might only be a 1 out of 10 on the pleasure scale.

    However, a month later, your next pancake might reach 9 out of 10 on the pleasure scale again.

    The solution is to wait for long enough between doing the same thing twice so that you enjoy it just as much the next time.

    “Variety is the very spice of life, that gives it all its flavour.”

    William Cowper

    24. BE KIND

    “If you’re kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.”

    Mother Teresa

    If you know why you are doing something, try not to worry about what others think. People who do not understand why you are doing what you are doing will see it from their point of view.

    If they could only do what you are doing by getting something in return, they will assume you have the same intention. But being kind is a reward within itself. If you can give just for the sake of it, do it. You can thank me later.

    25. DESIGN YOUR OWN LIFE

    “When you grow up you tend to get told the world is the way it is and (you should) just live your life inside the world. Try not to bash into the walls too much. Try to have a nice family, have fun, save a little money. That’s a very limited life. Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact: Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you and you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again”.

    Steve Jobs

    As far as I see the world, we only have one life to live. We can spend it doing what others expect of us, or we can spend it doing what is suitable for us. We can blame everyone else for how things turn out, or we can go our own way.

    Regardless of what you decide, time passes, and eventually, you will either feel that you made the most of what you had or accumulate regrets. I try to live my life in a way where I learn from my past mistakes, and make choices that I hopefully won’t regret in the future. What about you?

    Dr Damon Ashworth

    Clinical Psychologist

  • How to Be Useful to Others, Get Rich, Like People, and Thrive in an Unknowable Future

    How to Be Useful to Others, Get Rich, Like People, and Thrive in an Unknowable Future

    Derek Sivers seems like a pretty cool guy. On his website, he calls himself a musician, producer, circus performer, entrepreneur, TED speaker, and book publisher. He started a company called CDBaby and made millions from this. He then gave the company to charity, resulting in millions of dollars subsequently being used to help up-and-coming musical artists who need some monetary support to try and realise their dreams.

    Sivers also reads a lot of non-fiction books that are focused on psychology, self-help and self-improvement. He has little reviews of these books on his website and gives them a score out of 10, which is great if you are in need of a recommendation of what to read.

    In 2016, Sivers tried to summarise all of the key points that he obtained from reading so many non-fiction books. These key points were put into “do this” directives for him as a personal guide to various aspects of life. The directives were first brought to the public’s attention in his episode of the hugely popular ‘Tim Ferriss Show’ podcast. Because of the demand for the remainder of these lists, they were shared on Derek’s website sivers.org. He also plans on doing more with these directives in the future, including potentially writing his own book.

    Below are his directives, as well as my opinion of them. Directives that I completely agree with will be in green. Directives that I disagree with or that go against scientific research will be in red.

    group hand fist bump

    How to be useful to others:

    Get famous

    • Do everything in public and for the public.
    • The more people you reach, the more useful you are.
    • The opposite is hiding, which is of no use to everyone.

    Get rich

    • Money is neutral proof you’re adding value to people’s lives.
    • So, by getting rich, you’re being useful as a side effect.
    • Once rich, spend the money in ways that are even more useful to others.
    • Then, getting rich is double useful.

    Share strong opinions

    • Strong opinions are very useful to others.
    • Those who were undecided or ambivalent can just adopt your stance.
    • But those who disagree can solidify their stance by arguing against yours.

    Be expensive

    • People given a placebo pill were twice as likely to have their pain disappear when told the pill was expensive.
    • People who paid more for tickets were more likely to attend the performance.
    • People who spend more for a product or service value it more, and get more use out of it.

    people taking group photo

    WHAT I THINK: While there are a lot of famous and rich people who are useful to other people, there are many others who are not. What is true is that if you are famous and rich, you have the potential to have more influence on others and do more positive things, such as Bill and Melinda Gates. You also have the potential to negatively influence more people too, such as Donald Trump. What you do with that power and exposure is up to you.

    You can also make a difference to others without being rich or famous. Don’t underestimate the difference you can make as a teacher or coach or parent or volunteer or community member or any other role where you interact with others on a regular basis. If you charge more, people will value your services more, you will earn more money and then have a greater chance to be useful to others.

    Do try to be informed before sharing your opinions publicly. Look at all the damage Jenny McCarthy did by sharing her opinions on vaccines and autism.

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    How to get rich:

    Live where luck strikes

    • Live where everything is happening.
    • Live where the money is flowing.
    • Live where careers are being made.
    • Live where your role models live.
    • Once there, be as in the game as anyone can be.
    • Be right in the middle of everything.

    Say yes to everything

    • Meet everyone.
    • Pursue every opportunity.
    • Nothing is too small. Do it all.
    • Like lottery tickets, you never know which one will win. So the more, the better.
    • Follow-up and keep in touch with everyone.

    Learn the multiplying skills

    • Speaking, writing, psychology, design, conversation, 2nd language, persuasion, programming, meditation/focus.
    • Not pursued on their own, they’re skills that multiply the success of your main pursuit (e.g., A pilot who’s also a great writer and public speaker; A chef with a mastery of psychology, persuasion and design).
    • These skills multiply the results of your efforts, and give you an edge over others in your field.

    Pursue market value, not personal value

    • Do what pays well.
    • Do not be the starving artist, working on things that have great personal value to you, but little market value.
    • Follow the money. It tells you where you’re most valuable.
    • Don’t try to make a career out of everything you love. For example, sex.

    Shamelessly imitate success

    • Imitate the best strategies of your competitors.
    • The market doesn’t care about your personal need to be unique.
    • It’s selfless and humble to use the best ideas regardless of source, to create the best service or product for your clients.
    • Get great at executing other people’s ideas as well as your own.

    Be the owner, not just the inventor

    • It’s tempting to try to be the ideas person, having someone else do the dirty work of making those ideas happen.
    • Ideas don’t make you rich. Great execution of ideas does.
    • A rule of capitalism: whoever takes the most financial risk gets the rewards.
    • The biggest rewards will always go to those that fund it and own it.
    • To get rich, be the owner. Own as close to 100% as possible.

    Benefit from human nature

    • Instead of complaining about the downside of human nature, find ways to benefit from it.
    • Instead of complaining about the rules, just learn the game, then play it.

    bitcoins and u s dollar bills

    WHAT I THINK: To get rich, it is important to know how humans think and act, and to find ways to benefit from this instead of wishing for things to be different. It is useful to see what has worked for others, to learn how to do things in this way first, and then to adapt the best things so that what you are doing is authentically yours. It is important to try to own the product or service you are trying to sell. If you don’t do this, your earning potential will always be capped and will generally always be less than your bosses.

    While it is true that people need to be willing to spend money in order to make money, it’s not just about taking financial risks. There are many broke people out there who have spent too much on bad ideas. Figure out how to test your ideas or products first to see how the market responds before investing too much in it, and don’t be afraid to make changes or start over again if a better opportunity presents itself. Ideally we aren’t just doing something for the money. If we love it, are good at it and it makes a lot, you will be much happier than doing something just because you know that it pays well.

    While it is true that we don’t know which opportunities will necessarily work out, we also can’t make much progress if we are saying yes to everyone and everything. Meet and connect with the right people who are not just out for themselves until you find a great idea. Then pursue this project for a set period until you know if it is likely to make you rich or not. If not, jump ship as soon as you realise it and keep brainstorming and connecting and saying yes until you find your next great idea. Once you have this, learning how to prioritise and say no may be even more important than always saying yes. Same with being in the middle of everything. It’s good until you know which path you want to go down. Once you know, distance from others can be just as good until an idea has been executed.

    The last bit of advice that isn’t here is don’t gamble or invest in get rich quick schemes. Use debit cards instead of credit cards. Don’t buy the most expensive insurance options. Do invest in index funds and other trustworthy stocks regularly and as early as you can and don’t change them around too much. Compounding interest will help you to gain a lot of money over time. But having heaps of money beyond what you need to meet your basic needs isn’t likely to make you a lot happier in the long run.

    flight technology tools astronaut

    How to thrive in an unknowable future:

    Prepare for the worst

    • Since you have no idea what the future may bring, be open to the best and the worst.
    • But the best case scenario doesn’t need your preparation or your attention.
    • So mentally and financially prepare for the worst case, instead.
    • Like insurance, don’t obsess on it. Just prepare, then carry on appreciating the good times.

    Expect disaster

    • Every biography of a successful person has that line, “And then, things took a turn for the worse.”
    • Fully expect that disaster to come to you at any time.
    • Completely assume it’s going to happen, and make your plans accordingly.
    • Not just money, but health, family, freedom. Expect it all to disappear.
    • Besides, you appreciate things more when you know this may be your last time seeing them.

    Own as little as possible

    • Depend on even less.
    • The less you own, the less you’re affected by disaster.

    Choose opportunity, not loyalty

    • Have no loyalty to location, corporation, or your past public statements.
    • Be an absolute opportunist, doing whatever is best for the future in the current situation, unbound by the past.
    • Have loyalty for only your most important human relationships.

    Choose the plan with the most options

    • The best plan is the one that lets you change your plans.
    • Example: renting a house is buying the option to move at any time without losing money in a changing market.

    Avoid planning

    • For maximum options, don’t plan at all.
    • Since you have no idea how the situation or your mood may change in the future, wait until the last moment to make each decision.

    aerial view of city with lights during night

    WHAT I THINK: It’s good to be creative, flexible, adaptable and open to change. These characteristics will become even more important in the future, because change is likely to continue to happen at an even faster and faster pace. People back in the 14th century kind of knew what to expect by the 15th century, but most people living now have no idea what life is likely to look like in the 22nd century. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t plan, and it definitely doesn’t mean that we should only plan for the worst. Life has continued to get better and better in so many ways, and it is likely to continue to get better in many ways too. It doesn’t mean it can’t get worse, but we shouldn’t all become doomsday preppers or not buy anything in case disaster strikes. Try to only buy the things you need that will help add value to your life.

    Especially if you have kids, stability is good, so don’t be afraid to set up roots. Buy a house, start a business where you live, and develop friendships with other people in your neighbourhood. Some people may leave, businesses may collapse, marriages may crumble, but research still indicates that people have more satisfied relationships if they get married than if they live together but don’t get married. Married men are also both happier and healthier than single men. Divorce negatively impacts kids, especially if there is a lot of conflict, and learning how to overcome difficulties is better than always avoiding things or running away as soon as things get tough or another seemingly desirable option presents itself. We always think the grass is greener on the other side, but when we get there it’s often not as shiny or as different as we first thought (or better than we’ve previously had).

    Essentially, having plans and making commitments is better than having none, as long as you are also open to making tweaks and even big changes if things really aren’t working out. Research indicates that having too many options makes it too hard to choose and not making a decision can be really stressful and both physically and emotionally draining. Research also indicates that we tend to become happier with our choices over time once we have made them, as long as we commit to our choices and don’t keep trying to doubt ourselves or leave all the other doors open too.

    four women standing on mountain

    How to like people:

    Assume it’s their last day

    • Everyone talks about living like it’s your last day on earth.
    • Instead, to appreciate someone, live like it’s their last day on earth.
    • Treat them accordingly. Try to fulfill their dreams for the day.
    • Really listen to them. Learn from them.

    Be who’d you’d be when alone

    • You could live in a crowd, pleasing only others.
    • You could live in solitude, pleasing only yourself.
    • But ideally, when in a crowd, be the same person you’d be when alone.

    Assume men and women are the same

    • Men think women are so different from them.
    • Women think men are so different from them.
    • But the differences among men and differences among women are far greater than the differences between men and women.
    • So, counteract your tendency to exaggerate the differences.

    Always make new friends

    • As you grow old and change, old friends and family will be unintentionally invested in maintaining you as you were before.
    • Let go of people that don’t welcome and encourage your change.

    Avoid harming the relationship

    • For long-term relationship success, it’s more effective than seeking the positive.
    • A friendship that may take years to develop can be ruined by a single action.

    Act calm and kind

    • Regardless of how you feel

    Don’t try to change them

    • unless they asked you to.
    • Don’t teach a lesson.
    • Stop trying to change people who don’t think they have a problem.

    Find wisdom in your opponents

    • Really engage with those who think opposite of you.
    • You already know the ideas common on your own side.

    Purge the vampires

    • Get rid of people that drain you, that don’t make you feel good about yourself.
    • They make you hate all people.

    men s white button up dress shirt

    WHAT I THINK: It is great to really try to appreciate others, and understanding that some people may die soon is a helpful way to ensure that we don’t take others for granted. The Tail End by Tim Urban is an awesome blog post that nicely highlights how little time we actually have left with the important people in our lives. We should try to make the most of our time with them while we still have it so we don’t regret it later.

    We can learn a lot from others if we ask them about their life and experiences and beliefs and really listen, even if they have different ways of looking at things to us. But we shouldn’t try to give advice or teach lessons to others unless someone has asked or agreed to it first (or they’re reading your blog post!).

    While it is good to minimise how much time we spend with people that drain us or make us feel bad or don’t accept us for who we are, it is also important to try and maintain our old friendships too. Having both old friends and family to keep us grounded and new friends to help us learn and grow is having the best of both worlds.

    Men and women are different in some ways, and it is important to understand how and why. Of course we should still see each other as individuals and not just a gender, but this is the same with people who come from a different culture, ethnicity, nationality, religion and any other group that is different to yours. If we can understand group norms, it can help us to understand others a little bit better, but we should also be willing to change our perceptions of others based on what they say and do, rather than hold onto rigid, unhelpful or even discriminatory stereotypes.

    While it’s not possible to always be 100% ourselves around others, the more authentic we can be the more we will feel energised around others and connected with them. Similarly, we shouldn’t always act calm if we really are upset or angry or worried and need to express our feelings or what we need. What we can do is express this in a way that is still kind and considerate so that you don’t unnecessarily burn any bridges.

    Thanks for reading! For more advice on a good life, feel free to check out some of my other articles, especially: Can We Develop Our Own Guide to Better Living?; 10 Bits of Advice I’d Give My 10-Year-Old Self; Ten Traits of Highly Successful People; 25 Ideas That Could Change Your Life.

    Dr Damon Ashworth

    Clinical Psychologist

  • What Are the Secrets to Living Longer?

    What Are the Secrets to Living Longer?

    During my summer holidays, I read an interesting book called The Blue Zones: 9 lessons for living longer from the people who’ve lived the longest by Dan Buettner.

    Buettner travelled to five geographical areas around the world where people lived healthy lives for the longest time. These five areas included Sardinia in Italy, Okinawa in Japan, Nicoya in Costa Rica, and the seventh-day adventist (SDA) population in Loma Linda, California.

    Throughout the book, Buettner identified several essential lifestyle habits that could explain some of their excellent health and longevity outcomes. This included things such as how people connect, how they move, how they eat, and the outlook on life that they have. Let’s break down each of these habits in more detail:

    1. Prioritise the connections that you have with others.

    A deep sense of belonging does seem to be especially important to people that reach 100 in the blue zones. Over 98% of those identified and interviewed said they were active participants in a faith-based community.

    The denomination you are a part of doesn’t seem to matter much. However, certain faiths, such as SDA, recommend that their believers adopt a healthy lifestyle.

    Attending religious services once a week can add four to fourteen years to your life. Of course, belonging is still possible without religion. Still, achieving the same level of community, regular gatherings, and belonging in non-faith-based groups can be tricky.

    Being active in social circles that support healthy living is also really important. Smoking, loneliness, inactivity, unhealthy eating and weight gain are more likely if a number of your friends are also going through this.

    Fortunately, happiness, connectedness and movement can also be contagious if your friends live in specific ways and you associate with them regularly. Therefore, the people closest to you can impact your long-term health and happiness, whether you want them to or not.

    Finally, people that live to 100 all tend to put their families first and have strong relationships with their partners, children, grandchildren or great-grandchildren. By prioritising a close and connected relationship with your children and grandchildren, they are more likely to care for you once you are older and need their love and support. In addition, living with younger generations makes the children less likely to be sick or die young.

    You can live, on average, three years longer by having a life partner. It can significantly benefit males, who are more likely to become isolated or engage in healthy behaviours such as a poor diet or substance abuse issues. For females, having a life partner can also be helpful if you have a good-quality relationship. However, single women do better than those in long-term relationships with abusive or controlling partners.

    Photo by Jan Krnc on Pexels.com

    2. Move regularly as part of your daily life.

    Most people that live to 100 in the blue zones are not regular gym goers or marathon runners. Instead, they make moving, particularly walking, a normal part of their daily life. It may be their work on their farms and gardens, or visiting friends and families. However, regular movement does seem to help people stay healthier for longer.

    Photo by Dana Tentis on Pexels.com

    3. Eat lots of plants in your diet.

    Beans, soy, lentils and vegetables are crucial elements of the diets of people that live to 100 in the blue zones. They don’t tend to go on strict or regimented diets but don’t eat much processed or junk food either. They usually only eat small amounts of meat about once a week.

    People living to 100 in the blue zones don’t tend to overeat too much and maintain a healthy weight. One way they do this is by aiming to eat until they are about 80% full rather than 100%. This can be the difference between gaining or maintaining weight over time.

    Finally, an occasional red wine doesn’t prevent someone from reaching 100. On the contrary, it can lead to more longevity for people than those who abstain entirely. If you ever do drink alcohol, aim for no more than one or two glasses at a time, and try to do this only at times when you are socialising with friends or family if you want to so that you also get the benefits of connection and belonging.

    Photo by Om Thakkar on Pexels.com

    4. Find and strengthen your sense of purpose, even after you have retired.

    Those who lived the longest continued to feel that they had meaning and purpose in their everyday lives. The Japanese call it their “ikigai”, and the Costa Ricans call it their “plan de vida”. It gave the people in each country a good sense of their main reasons for waking up each day.

    Knowing what feels meaningful to you or gives you purpose can add up to seven years of life expectancy.

    Finally, people who lived to 100 in blue zones knew how to downshift, relax, and process their stress whenever it was building up for them. Conversely, people who do not learn how to effectively manage or reduce their stress when it arises are much more likely to experience more inflammation and chronic diseases over time.

    Some of the strategies those in the blue zone use are:

    • Taking a few moments each day to remember their ancestors and be grateful for what they have done
    • Praying to God daily for the things that they are thankful for and the things they hope for
    • Taking daily naps
    • Trying to stop working by a specific time each day and socialise and connect with friends and family over food or a drink.
    • Spending time out in nature

    Some of the secrets of longer living in the blue zones are probably genetically based. However, not all of it is. Therefore, adopting some of the above tips and strategies could add a decade or so of good years to your life.

    Are there any changes you could make that wouldn’t be too challenging for you to make? If so, would there be any downsides to doing this? Conversely, what could be the potential benefits?

    No matter your age, there is still time left to make some of the changes that you would like to in your life. If you do, I’d love to hear about how it goes.

    Dr Damon Ashworth

    Clinical Psychologist

  • Five Lessons I Learned After Being Fired

    Five Lessons I Learned After Being Fired

    When I was 18, I graduated from high school in Virginia in mid-2004. After a fantastic road trip across the USA, I returned to Australia and needed to find some work until I could attend University in February 2005.

    My first job after I returned was walking around and doorknocking at people’s houses, trying to sell the residents a subscription to daily delivered newspapers. I lasted two hours, sold zero subscriptions, and made zero dollars before deciding that the job was not for me. I really feel for anyone who does this type of work. Basically, no one wants a stranger trying to sell them things at their front door.

    After applying for a few other jobs, I worked as an assistant manager at Hungry Jacks, a fast-food restaurant. It did not pay well and required sometimes working 11 hours straight without a break from 3:30pm to 2:30am.

    Fast food work is not glamorous. It was hot working out the back. The oil from the fryers clogged up my pores, and minor burns were not out of the ordinary.

    It can also be a lot of pressure and stress. Cars turning up to buy something in the drive-thru needed to be given all of their order in under 2.5 minutes. The recommended time for in-restaurant orders was even faster.

    Eventually, I began turning up to work late a few too many times, especially to morning shifts. I was 18 years old for most of my time at Hungry Jack’s and enjoyed going out with my friends and having some drinks.

    After one shift where I slept through my alarm by a few hours, the two store managers called me into a room and asked me not to come back to work anymore. I was shocked, but I also understood why they didn’t want me to work there. I wasn’t really trying to learn the things I needed to and had been coming in later and later.

    Here are the five main things I learned from being fired:

    1. It doesn’t matter how intelligent you are if you don’t put in the work

    One of my favourite personality assessments I recommend to many people is the IPIP-NEO or the five-factor personality model. It is available to be taken for free online and compares your answers to other people of your gender, age and country across five factors and thirty facets.

    Conscientiousness is the most crucial factor for determining how successful someone will be at work out of the five personality factors. This finding is independent of intelligence. This means that even if you do not have a high IQ, you can still do really well at work if you apply yourself consistently. Having high self-efficacy and belief in your ability to get things done, being orderly, self-disciplined, dutiful, striving to achieve something and thinking things through before acting can help you be more conscientious and perform better at work.

    2. A growth mindset is far better than a fixed mindset

    I definitely had more of a fixed mindset in high school than a growth mindset. I didn’t see the point in practising things or working hard to get better at something. Instead, I thought that how good I was at something was as good as I could ever be and tried to only do things that came naturally to me.

    I excelled at math until year 10, and then finally, my natural aptitude for the subject couldn’t take me much further. My grades in the subject quickly plummeted. I went from receiving A+ on tests in year 9 to nearly failing my Maths Method exam and obtaining an E+ at the end of Semester One in year 11.

    At Hungry Jack’s, I again tried to stick to what I enjoyed or found easy. However, after months of working there, I still didn’t know how to set up the broiler properly, preferring to stick to salad prep or changing the oil in the fryers. Once the store managers realised this, I could only do broiler set-up. I think I stopped turning up in the mornings shortly after this.

    If I had instead realised that my performance could indeed get better with more practice and more effort, I might not have been late so much and kept my job.

    3. It is hard to motivate yourself to do things that you don’t enjoy

    For the six months I worked at Hungry Jack’s, I really didn’t enjoy going to work. I would dread getting up early in the morning for a shift. I would also count down the clock at work until I finally could go home.

    I compare this to working as a Clinical Psychologist. The feeling is entirely different. Some days I still can’t be bothered going to work, but I enjoy the process of being there and helping others as much as I can in the time that we have together.

    We can’t always find things that we love doing. But if you hate what you do for a job or where you are working, it can really get you down. I’ve had a few undesirable jobs with difficult managers, and they nearly drove me crazy after only a few months.

    If you are in one of these situations and can look for other opportunities, please do. Then if you have a chance to move to another job that you think might be better, go for it. If you still feel stuck, compare what you would lose by leaving to what you would lose by staying. Taking a risk can be scary, but ask yourself what you usually regret more: what you decide to do? Or what you want to do but do not?

    4. Try to find a job that suits you, not what other people tell you to do

    Out of the 10+ jobs I did from 14- to 28-years-old, my favourite job by far was night-fill at a Woolworth’s Supermarket. I would mostly work from 9pm to 2am or 10pm to 3am, with a 10pm to 6am Saturday night shift that paid double-time. It was a decent workout, with lots of walking and carrying boxes. It also led to a lot of reflection time while working, as the store was generally quiet until midnight and then closed after that until 6am. Once it was closed, we could play our iPods and listen to music and not have to engage with anyone at all.

    For a casual job, it paid really well. But it also allowed me to do everything else I wanted in my life. I could see my friends and family as often as I wanted to, play lots of sport, and go to all the university classes that I needed to during the day. It also suited my delayed sleep schedule and helped me save enough to travel around the world for eight months after finishing my Honours degree in 2008.

    Other people may have hated the exercise or the timing of the shifts at the supermarket, but I loved it, unlike the job I had at Hungry Jack’s. The more you understand yourself, your personality, and your strengths and weaknesses, the easier it will be to know what type of job is right for you.

    5. Education is much more important than I realised it was back when I was in school

    None of the 10+ jobs I did before I completed my Doctoral degree required a university degree. Many paid minimum wage, including working at a fast-food Tex-Mex restaurant in the USA and as a bartender in the UK.

    Comparing how much I was paid in some of these jobs, it would have taken me over 20 hours to make as much as possible in one hour of private practice psychology work in Australia. The difference in pay between working as a clinical psychologist in the USA and the minimum wage is even more extreme.

    I agree that schools could have a bit of an overhaul and teach more about mental health and life skills. However, it doesn’t mean that doing well in school and getting a good education doesn’t help give you a more financially secure future.

    Sure, there are high school and college dropouts that have more money than I could ever make. But, unfortunately, these are the exceptions rather than the rule. If you don’t believe me, check out the ten points that this article makes on the benefits of obtaining a bachelor’s degree. Not only are you likely to make more money, but you could have higher self-esteem and better job satisfaction too.

    Conclusion

    Being fired for the first time just before starting my university career may have been a blessing in disguise. It helped me to take my university studies more seriously, taught me that if I wanted to get anywhere, I needed to work hard at it and that I also needed to try to find the right job for me if I was going to do well and stick at it for a long time.

    Dr Damon Ashworth

    Clinical Psychologist

  • What difference can hearing difficulties make in your life, and can improving them help you to live a better quality of life?

    What difference can hearing difficulties make in your life, and can improving them help you to live a better quality of life?

    I recently interviewed my brother, Kurt Ashworth, who is an Audiologist in Ballarat, Australia. Here are his answers to some of the main questions I asked him:

    1. What does an audiologist do?

    Audiologists are communication experts. We specialise in testing and diagnosing hearing loss and can also specialise in testing balance function. Audiologists can help people of all ages experiencing hearing loss testing and diagnosing the type and degree of hearing loss and prescribing and programming hearing devices if appropriate, providing hearing rehabilitation and communication strategies and utilising other assistive technologies to improve their ability to hear and more effectively communicate.

    2. What led to your interest in Audiology? 

    After an undergraduate degree in science with a major in psychology, that pathway did not interest me to pursue further, I stumbled across audiology and it seemed like a good mix of informational counselling and the utilisation of technology to improve peoples communication. The hearing devices and cochlear implants keep improving their capabilities to the point where they can now also work as Bluetooth headphones, an ai assistant in your ears and a fitness tracking device as well as improving the patients hearing. 

    3. How can Audiology help to improve someone’s quality of life? 

    As discussed, a lot of our patients can have long-standing hearing issues that have not been diagnosed or corrected. Hearing devices, assistive listening devices and cochlear implants and sometimes surgery to correct the hearing problem can give back peoples ability to communicate more effectively with their loved ones and when out socially which is very impactful on peoples quality of life. We also know there are links to higher risk of dementia, falls and loneliness with untreated hearing loss so the opposite exists if the hearing issue can addressed with hearing devices or surgery.

    4. What are some of the most rewarding parts of the job?

    I really enjoy the journey of seeing a patient through from start to finish, diagnosing the problem, coming up with a treatment plan with their individual goals and difficulties in mind. Then seeing how the technology has improved their hearing and they can then start to reintroduce things in their life they had previously cut out due to their hearing.

    5. Do you have to do much counseling as part of working as an Audiologist?

    I would say the most important part and the majority of my job is counselling and teaching. The technology is great but you can have the worlds best hearing aids  but without buy in from the patient, they sit in the draw. We need to counsel about what to expect, how to manage the devices and help to get optimal outcomes.  Majority of our adult patients have inner ear loss/damage so we’re also counselling about residual hearing issues even with technology due to the damage In their hearing pathways. The hearing devices can only do so much. 

    6. At what age does hearing loss usually begin? 

    At any age, all babies in Victoria are now testing in hospital after birth before they are discharged. If they do not pass their newborn hearing screen, they are seen by a diagnostic audiologist for electrophysiological testing while the baby is asleep and can diagnose with good accuracy the level of hearing loss in each ear and refer this baby on to Hearing Australia for aiding by 4 weeks of age and if cochlear implants are needed, can be implanted around 6 months of age. A lot of children have hearing issues in childhood due to middle ear blockages that can impact on speech and language development. Some adults experience progressive hearing loss or noise induced hearing loss, majority of adults in their latter years, 65+ experience differing degrees of age related hearing loss.

    7. What difference can a good pair of hearing aids make?

     The majority of the hearing aids available from the top manufacturers now have directional microphones to help people hear better from in front, noise reduction to help make hearing in background noise more comfortable. 

    The most important function of a hearing aid is the ability to make speech louder so the sounds in speech are audible for the user without loud sounds being too loud and uncomfortable. 

    The skill of the audiologist in optimising the hearing and providing appropriate counselling and guidance is often just as important as the technology in the device. If someone is not getting on well with their hearing aids, get them readjusted and if you’re still struggling it maybe worth a second opinion and adjustment before considering purchasing new technology again.

    If you are quoted a lot of money for hearing aids, ring around for other quotes, base level hearing aids retail for about $1000 for 1 device up to about $4000 for top of the range with plenty of options in between.

    9. What is Tinnitus and what causes it?

    Tinnitus is a head noise that the patient can hear that is not present in the environment. It can be present all the time or intermittently, it can be in just one ear or both. 

    The exact mechanism of tinnitus is still up for debate but tinnitus often indicates a problem in the hearing pathway and can be seen more as a symptom of something else rather than the cause.  Tinnitus can be brought on due to wax occlusion, middle ear dysfunction and or inner ear (cochlear) hearing loss. 

    10. Can anything help Tinnitus if someone has it?

    The first thing needed is a hearing test, that way we can clear out wax if needed, test where the issue is and refer on to an ear nose and throat specialist if required. If all medical concerns have been ruled out, both amplification and or sound enrichment can assist with tinnitus. Referral to a psychologist for CBT can also be helpful in the more severe cases. Good news is most peoples tinnitus is loudest and most bothersome initially and often improves and reduces in intensity and concern overtime even if it doesn’t go away completely.

    11. Have you heard of Misophonia/ hyperacousis and does anyone know what causes it? 

    Misophonia is reasonably rare, I have only come across it a couple times in my career. It’s a hatred of sounds and can be something as common as the sound of their partners chewing or a clock ticking, even when these sounds are not loud. It’s more about the emotional response to these sounds rather than pain but can be very debilitating in extreme cases. Sometimes people will wear earplugs to reduce the outside sounds but not enough to completely block off their hearing. 

    Hyperacousis is more common and is a physical discomfort to loud sounds and often goes hand in hand with more severe losses and often losses due to noise damage. Hearing aids can be programmed to improve the usable hearing but reduce the intensity of these loud sounds to more comfortable levels. 

    12. Can Audiologists help with Misophonia? 

    Yes, A clinic in Heidelberg – DWM specialises in treating hyperacousis and misophonia and we refer on for the more severe cases.

    13. What if someone sleeps next to a partner who snores? Can Audiologists help at all?

    Yes, we do a number of custom made earplugs that can help for reducing the volume of snoring, work  related noise and music etc.

    14. What are your hopes for the field of Audiology in the future?

    My hope would be more accessible services and devices for all, while cochlear implants can be provided through a combination of state and federal funding free of charge in Victoria, patients between 26 and 65 really have very little support financially in the purchase of hearing aids from the governments. This leads to alot of patients without the means to access good devices which can lead to untreated hearing issues. 

    On a more positive note, we a seeing a lot of convergence in audiology, where hearing devices are now doing much more than just improving hearing. Some brands have heart rate monitors in their aids, can detect falls and notify significant others if this occurs and the patients current location. Others brands are tracking steps and levels of social engagement, they can even translate from one language to another in real time in the ear which feels very James Bond. My hope is with all these technological advances, hearing devices and the associated stigma is reducing so people are more willing to do something about their hearing earlier. 

    15. Is someone is concerned about their hearing at all, what can they do? 

    Find a local independent audiologist and get a hearing test. Even if the test is only to provide for baseline hearing levels, this allows for tracking of any deterioration going forward.

    16. Where do you work, and how do people get in touch?

    I work at an independent clinic in Ballarat,  Ballarat Hearing Clinic. We provide hearing testing from birth to 16 on behalf of the Ballarat base hospital through their outpatients services. We also see adults for hearing testing, aid fitting and adjustment and cochlear implant assessment and programming. You can find us most easily by searching Ballarat hearing clinic on google and clicking on our website for contact details. You don’t need a medical referral to see an audiologist.

    For anyone who would like to hear the whole interview, please check out the following: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/cfmd7D45Wtb

    Dr Damon Ashworth

    Clinical Psychologist