Breaking Free from Fate: Fresh Approaches to Lasting Behavioural Change

I read an interesting book recently called ‘Determined: Life Without Free Will’ by Robert Sapolsky.

In it, he takes the firm stance of hard incompatibilism. Sapolsky says that the world is deterministic, which means that there is no free will. He even goes so far as to say that we are not morally responsible for our actions. Therefore, we should not be punished for them legally.

Sapolsky says that all of our behaviours are directly generated by our biological past. Even if it feels like we have some choice in what we do, we actually do not. Our neurons fire in a certain way before we become aware of wanting to respond in a certain way. It might feel like you have decided to act in a certain way. You might feel like you choose one action over another. However, your biology and past experiences have already determined how you are going to respond in whatever situation you are in.

So, even if you feel like you have decided to have that second piece of chocolate cake for dessert. You might think it is a choice as opposed to that piece of watermelon. However, it was never really a choice at all. Due to your past and your preferences, your mind will make that same choice in that same situation no matter what you do.

To me, living in a world without any free will doesn’t sound that great. It also goes against what it feels like to live my life. I don’t want to just resign myself to act however I might be most tempted. I want to try to improve myself. I want to become a better person over time.

If there really is no free will, is there even a point to self-help, self-improvement and psychological therapy? I still think there is. However, we need to focus more on things that can make a real difference in our lives. We cannot just hope to have more willpower to make the right decisions for ourselves at the right times.

ACT, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, focuses on accepting things as they are. This approach helps prevent people from getting caught up in the struggle of trying to change something. Without free will, maybe acceptance and self-compassion are better than trying to change things you don’t like about yourself.

Does this mean change isn’t possible?

Not the way I see it. Even ACT sees the importance of clarifying what is most important to you and taking action towards these things.

Even if we have less free will than we imagine, I still think that change is possible in several ways. We can control to some degree what information we choose to take in. We can spend more time with people who are living their lives in ways that we would like to. We can spend less time with people that are draining to us. We can change the environment that we live in. Finally, we can focus on establishing healthy habits and sustainable systems. Let’s explore each of these in more detail:

1. The information that you take in

I try to focus on three main areas of information:

• The news I consume. I try to minimise how much news I watch on TV, online and in the newspapers. If I do read the news, I really like the weekly newsletters from HumanProgress.org and Fix the News.
• Social media. I still use WhatsApp and Messenger to chat with friends. However, I have deactivated and no longer have access to Instagram or Facebook. I don’t know my passwords either, so can not log back in even if I wanted to. I still have access to X and LinkedIn on my computer, but rarely check them and don’t engage with others through them.
• My phone. I have switched my iPhone to greyscale. I turn this off if I video chat with someone. When it is on, I am much less likely to use the phone more than I want to. I do not have any games on there except for Duolingo or Elevate. I enjoy listening to audiobooks, podcasts or music while walking or at the gym. I try to minimise all other uses apart from directly communicating with friends.

Are you happy with the information that you are taking in each day or week? Does it positively or negatively impact how you feel about yourself, others, the world or the future? Is there any type of information that you would like to see more of or less of?

2. The people that you spend the most time with, and how you spend time with them

A quote most often attributed to motivational speaker Jim Rohn says

“you’re the average of the five people that you spend the most time with”

Who are the five people that you are closest with in your life? What influence do you think that they have on you?

Now, I am not suggesting that you should stop speaking to your family members or partner. They might sometimes be more critical or negative than you would like them to be. However, is there any way that some of these relationships can be improved? Through better communication? More quality time? A fun holiday? Getting back into some interesting activities or rituals that you used to enjoy? Or trying some things that you have always wanted to do together?

If not, are there some people in your life that you don’t see as often as you would like to? Could any of these people have a positive influence on you?

3. Better environmental design

At the end of May 2024, I moved into my new apartment. It is a 10-minute walk from work, which brings with it lots of potential benefits. I can spend less time commuting, which frees up more time for doing more enjoyable things that I would like to do in my life.

Additionally, it also has a great gym in the apartment complex, an indoor swimming pool, and some reformer Pilates beds. I have been working out more, and feeling healthier, fitter and stronger as a result. Since moving, I have also joined two sports teams for the first time since 2020. In general, I feel like my environment is helping me to live more of the life I want to live.

I no longer have alcohol or any drinks with added sugar in them at my apartment. It means that if I am thirsty, I can have soda water or water. I have also cut out having deep-fried foods, chips, cakes or chocolate at home. By removing these things from my home, I am less prone to turn to them when I am bored or hungry. If I really want these things, I can still have them when out socialising, and at least get the benefits of social connection.

Thinking about your own environment, are there certain things at the moment that you are spending more time doing than you would like to be? Are there things that you would like to replace it with instead?

4. Healthy habits or sustainable systems

The things that I know are positive or good for me include:

• Being socially connected and catching up with friends in person at least once a week. This also means staying in touch with my family and those who are important to me. Ideally, this would also include spending some time with people with whom we share similar interests or hobbies and can do these things together.
• Seeing clients face to face. By working so close to home, I hope to be able to keep my working time to when I am in my office and give all of my clients the option to come in and see me face-to-face if they would like to do this. Online sessions can be really convenient for people who live too far away or want therapy without it taking as much time out of their day. However, some studies suggest that we don’t get as many of the positive social benefits by talking to people online or over the phone as we do with connecting in person.
• I now have a good morning routine since the start of 2024 of doing Duolingo, Elevate, meditation on Waking Up, and journalling on Stoic.
• I try to maintain some healthy habits of going to the gym, swimming at the pool and doing Pilates regularly, and walking 7,500 steps every day. As I live in a city environment, if I can do some of this walking in nature, such as at the Royal Botanical Gardens or around Albert Park Lake, that is even better.
• Having enough novelty and adventure in my life, including some healthy competition through sport again. I also want to try to see if I can plan some holidays again for the future, and book these enough in advance so that I get the benefits of planning for them, looking forward to them, and being able to enjoy going on them.
• Not working too much, and making sure that I am being as efficient as possible with my administrative tasks and processes at work so that I can enjoy my time when I am at home and with others. Hopefully, this can also leave enough time for downtime and relaxation, reading books I enjoy, watching movies or TV shows or documentaries I like, and learning or being creative in the ways I would like to be.

What healthy habits or systems would you most like to incorporate in your life if possible? Are there any pain points now where you put off doing certain tasks that you know that you have to do? Could there be a better way to think about it less and get it done more easily?

Conclusion

According to Robert Sapolsky, because we don’t have any free will, we are not to blame for the things that happen in our lives. We are not to blame for our genetics, or what has happened in our past. Everything that we have done makes sense given our genetics, experiences and environment. Therefore, the more that we can accept ourselves, and the more self-compassion we can have towards ourselves, the better.

However, we can nudge our behaviours in the right way moving forward through healthy nutrition, positive social support, healthy sleep, regular exercise, positive information, necessary medication and setting up our environment, habits and systems in healthy ways.

If we really don’t have as much free will (and willpower), as it sometimes seems, the other levers that we can pull to change our behaviours become even more important. Try to not beat yourself up for what has happened in your past. Instead, focus on changing the external things in your life going forward that can help contribute to your positive long-term success.